


Of Monsters and Princes (Loki/Reader)

by SacredMorningStar



Series: Marvel Drabbles, One-shots and Fics [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Avengers AU, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Control, Experiment, F/M, Magic, Manipulation, Mind Control, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Romace, Shape-shifter, Shapeshifter, Shapeshifting, She-shifer, Slow Burn, Torture, building a bond, shapeshift
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5033434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SacredMorningStar/pseuds/SacredMorningStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader is an ex-experiment from Hydra. She is taken in by the Avengers trying to hide what she could do. When she loses control it seemed like Loki had found a soul that understood him. When the team realise, what will they do and how will Loki help Reader get over what she could do.</p><p>How will the pair face the burdens of being a hero and the enemy of a titan?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Start of Something New

**Author's Note:**

> Key:
> 
> (Y/N) = Your Name  
> (H/C) = Hair Colour  
> (E/C) = Eye Colour  
> (F/C) = Favourite Colour  
> (F/M) = Favourite Meal  
> (F/F) = Favourite Food

Loki had always been someone that would stay back and leave others to whatever foolish act they wanted. He wasn't someone to make an effort for anyone if he thought there was no gain in it for himself. Even after the attack on New York, after being imprisoned in the Avengers Tower, he was still the same. He stood away, sat reading his books, keeping away from all the lower beings. He had no powers, his magic stripped from him so he couldn't use them, and had to be under the watch of an Avenger or S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent at all times.  
  
Loki didn’t care that agents had to watch him and he knew that none of them or the Avengers would want to watch him all the time. His thoughts, however, were far from reality. There was someone who wanted to help by keeping an eye on him. (Y/N) was a new member of the team, found on a mission not long after the attack, and had only recently been moved into the tower after training in one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. She owed her life to the team after they rescued her from Hydra’s experiments, from being seen as just a number, and when she heard they needed someone to watch Loki she felt like she should take it on.  
  
She hadn’t been to the tower before, having been training in one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters, and she had yet to actually meet Loki. She had seen footage from the attack, read reports and even read a file on Loki which had sparked an interest in the God. She walked into the tower with Fury on her heels and Tony showing her around the tower. When she got to the main lounge, where the Avengers where relaxing, she finally got to meet the whole team as they relaxed enjoying a few drinks together. She felt nervous being with so many people in the same room and she just kept her head down nodding to everyone.  
  
She felt nervous and anxious still not used to being in rooms filled with people and when Steve came over to say hello she backed up slightly; keeping her head down as she moved close to Fury. She still couldn’t trust right away, the affects from Hydra’s experiments and how they had treated her made her cautious, and she had last seen the team when she was nearly out cold unable to control her own body. She stood back a little which seemed to bother Steve but he just smiled and pulled his hand back.  
  
“It’s okay, no one here’s gonna hurt you, miss. We’re all here to help. My name’s Steve Rogers ma’am.” The super soldier stood tall and smiled warmly hoping to settle the scared woman’s nerves. “Ah ‘tis the lady we rescued, glad to see you are doing well good Lady!” Thor rose quickly and reached out to pat her shoulder making her hide behind Fury further.  
  
“Okay boys I think it’s time to give the girl her space. She doesn’t exactly seem happy that you’re both so close.” Natasha stood from her seat smiling softly as both lads took a few steps back. “Hi there, I’m Natasha, call me Nat. We have Tony, Clint, Bruce and you’ve met Steve and Thor. They guys can be a little tough, they’re all rough around the edges, but once you get to know them you’ll be fine.” Natasha pointed to each member as she named them but kept back from the cautious woman as she slowly came back out from her hiding spot.  
  
Fury watched amused before handing Nat a file containing everything the team would need to know about (Y/N) and the training she needed to go through with them while keeping an eye on Loki. The dark haired God had kept away from the rowdy bunch sitting on the far side of the room against one of the massive windows with a book in hand. He had noticed Fury walk in with the newest member of the team and how she acted around his brother and the man out of time.  
  
He couldn’t help the subtle snicker as he watched the team fail. He wore his leather under layers, unable to create his armour when his powers were taken, and his hair was slicked back and cut shorter. That was when she looked over to him and he caught sight of her striking eyes. She seemed to stare at him for quite some time before Nat brought her out of the room; no doubt taking the woman to her room to help her settle. Loki pulled himself back into his book as he noticed his brother come over to him; the blonde haired god smirking slightly with his arms crossed over his shoulder.  
  
“It seems, dear brother, you will be spending much more time out of this tower.” Thor looked down on the city below hearing his brother only huff. He rolled his eyes at his brother’s words and just focused on his book before feeling a large hand pat his shoulder firmly. “Come on brother, don’t be like this. This is your first chance to gain the freedom you have been wanting for a year. You say to take what chance you get given so why not take this chance?”  
  
“Get your hands off me and stop calling me brother; you know my true heritage. That Midgardian is nothing more than some ploy by you and your foolish team. All it means is you have a longer chain on me.” Loki’s tone was bored and cold as he sat back looking over the city while pushing Thor’s hand off his shoulder. He wasn’t going to let Thor and his team get to him, he wasn’t about to let this woman get under his skin just because she was there.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two Weeks Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Loki had adjusted to the life on Midgard but what he hadn’t gotten used to was the woman that was his guardian; almost like a child-minder. The whole team was out on a three day mission of some sort leaving Loki and (Y/N) alone in the tower with J.A.R.V.I.S. as a back-up should they need to call for the team. He had been her charge, having been told to keep an eye on the infantile god and maybe get him out of his shell, and she had spent the past two weeks just sitting with Loki while he read or quietly being in the same room as him. Loki’s past experience of Midgardians had been loud, frustrating and painful yet this one was calm, collected and even tolerable.  
  
From the first day (Y/N) had spent with Loki she had been different. He could tell she was nervous around the so called Defenders of Earth and often seemed to prefer being away from the group just like him. She seemed to find it hard to speak to anyone that came into the room and just kept to herself; whether she was reading, writing or drawing. He had noticed her aversion to groups and strangers and even how she seemed more tense around Bruce and Tony when they went on about experiments; not thinking she could hear them. He didn't know where she had come from, what had happened to her, or why she had such striking eyes that were so different to any mortal he'd seen before but he could tell that the talk of experiments and science made her nervous. He had yet to talk to her yet she seemed to prefer it when people didn't speak to her straight away and gave her chance to settle around them.  
  
She was quiet around him, she didn’t pry or infuriate the god, and had taken her time to just sit with him. He could just sit and read and she would sit nearby by wouldn’t make her presence unwanted. The first time she had sat with him he had expected her to be like Tony and torment him yet she just sat with a sketchbook sketching. He had wanted to ask her what she was drawing yet he hadn’t wanted to make it obvious that he was interested; knowing that Tony would tease him about it.  
  
Since then he had wanted to know her more, to know why she was so quiet and why she took on the role of watching him. Loki being as stubborn as he was meant that he wasn’t willing to risk Tony and his companions finding out about his interest; knowing they would make him regret it. During the two weeks he had just gotten settled into the routine of sitting in his corner of the room, reading a book, (Y/N) walking in and taking her seat with her notebook or sketchpad and finding a comfortable silence after breakfast for most of the day till evening rolled round and they both got hungry. Each day seemed to go like this till the end of their second week.  
  
The pair had just got settled into their normal routine of sitting in silence together with the subtle sound of pencil and the odd turn of a page. This time was different though. As Loki got settled he began to notice the Midgardian looking up at him and then back to her paper continuing to sketch. He was interested in what she was doing and watched her over his book; smirking whenever he caught her gaze.  
  
After about an hour of sitting in silence with (Y/N) sketching away and looking at the black haired god Loki finally decided to move only to earn a subtle glare from his artistic companion. He kept shifting and moving catching the subtle looks he was getting until she finally seemed to get so frustrated she put down the pad and gave up what she was working on. She began to mutter and mumble under her breath making Loki only smirk more realising he had interrupted her sketching.  
  
“What mortal? Is there something bothering you?” His facetious tone seemed to only irritate (Y/N) more as she tucked a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. She just stayed silent as she looked away from him obviously ignoring him. When she didn’t reply Loki just sighed and shook his head pulling himself back into his book. “Pathetic mortal.” He grumbled to himself annoyed he didn’t get a proper reaction from his guardian.  
  
(Y/N) tensed at his mumblings and just got up storming out of the room keeping her head down and hiding it from the trickster. She had spent two weeks trying to find a way to talk to him and the first words to her are pure insults and torment. Right now she just needed have some space feeling frustration from the drawing not going her way, from all the effort seemingly going nowhere and from Loki being Loki. She got away from him heading to the kitchen and took a grounding breath to try and vent some of her anger.   
  
Meanwhile Loki looked at the spot the woman had been sitting and saw the sketchpad she had been drawing in the whole time he had known her. He looked around for her, making sure she wasn’t there to stop him, before going over and having a look through the book. He froze in stunned awe as he looked at the multitude of sketches that all seemed to be of him in different poses. He flicked through the pages seeing detailed sketches of his armour, helmet and even his brother’s armour. The amount of detail in each sketch made it seem like he could just lift the items out of the book. He looked down regretfully at the half finished sketch of him that seemed to be the last drawing in the book. He looked up at where his companion had stormed out and sighed softy following her route with sketchbook in hand.  
  
When he saw her staring out of the window he moved over slowly and stood next her looking down on the city. She tensed up a little expecting him to insult her again only to see the sketchbook in his hand. “You’re drawings are very good, for a mortal.” He avoided looking at her as he spoke; focusing more on his reflection in the glass before him. “It seems you can make even that oaf of a brother look somewhat interesting. Had I known you had such skills I would not have tormented you so.” (Y/N) felt the heat of a blush rise to her face and quickly took the sketchbook that was offered to her. “Thanks, I...I hadn’t wanted anyone to...” Loki smirked slightly and shook his head. “...To see them, I had guessed by the way you always kept this book guarded. I just happened to have the luck of distracting you. I do wonder why there is such a fascination with me though. Almost every image in that book of yours is to do with me, perhaps the mortal has a...what do you call them...oh yes, a crush.” He was teasing again but this time it was more light-hearted and less hostile. “Do not tell the others of this, I have a reputation to keep, but you are tolerable. You don’t scream and shout at that strange box, nor do you get in my face, unlike those buffoons you seem to actually understand the concept of personal space.”  
  
Loki smiled lightly finally looking down at the girl who was his minder. The soft smile on his face was one he would only show to those he deemed interesting or, in (Y/N)’s case, tolerable. She smiled and held the sketchbook close to her chest nodding slightly. “J.A.R.V.I.S., can you not tell Tony about Loki’s speech? As far as Tony’s concerned we spent the day like we always do.” Her voice was soft but held the slight tone of happiness as she realised that her effort had meant something. “Of course Miss (Y/N). I would fear Mr Stark would only use such information as a bargaining chip anyway.” The sarcastic AI’s comment made (Y/N) laugh softly. “Yes, I’m sure he would.”


	2. Broken Minds

Ever since Loki had seen (Y/N)’s art he seemed to have changed around her. It seemed that the promise from Tony’s AI had been kept as none of the team had mentioned anything to either of them. The times when both of them would be alone together had still stayed fairly quiet but the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable as before. There wasn’t a strange tension where someone was expected to talk, both sitting at ease with whatever they were doing, and at odd times Loki would even hold a pose when he noticed his companion sketching away. He felt at ease with her around and she was the same when it was just her and Loki.   
  
Both of them had fallen into the routine of waking up, avoiding the team and finding the quietest room to just sit in peace. (Y/N) enjoyed the quiet moments but it seemed like the team were starting to worry about her spending all her time with the Trickster. There seemed to be times where the pair had settled together nicely and one of the team would find them and sit with them trying to talk to their newest member. Every time they would try to talk to her she felt awkward and would stay fairly quiet till they gave up and left making Loki smirk.  
  
It was during one of these intrusions that (Y/N) seemed to get really awkward and nervous as Tony tried to get her to come out with them for a few drinks. She sat there with her sketchbook in hand, in her (F/O) with her (H/C) pulled back in a messy bun,  just trying to draw with the billionaire sitting too close, talking too much, and not seeming to get the idea that she just wanted to be left alone. She knew Tony was a scientist of sorts and with her experience with them she felt even more nervous around him then she did around the others; the same with Bruce. Loki was sat in the window seat, it being his favourite place to sit, listening to the idiot go on and on about how much fun his favourite mortal would have if she just went out with them and it really bothered him.  
  
Tony had spent barely any time with the woman and had no clue what her interests were even though they were staring him in the face. The brutish man just didn’t seem to understand that this was what the young woman thought of as a good time; the polar opposite to nearly every other Avenger. Loki watched as the billionaire tried to win over the anxious girl’s affections trying to temp her with drinks, busy bars and loud, chaotic rooms that just weren’t her style. Every time she tried to turn him down he just tried to push more making her feel more nervous and try to move away from him; which he of course ignored and only shuffled closer. (Y/N) kept her head down avoiding looking at the billionaire and her hands shook lightly as fear began to pulse through her body. She didn’t like people this close, she still couldn’t cope with anyone being this close, and as the man kept speaking to her she could feel her stomach twist and knot and her mind race too fast for her to calm it down.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Flash Back~~~~~~~~  
  
(Y/N) felt herself strapped down to cold metal, thick belts buckling her down by her ankles and wrists, and the air was stale with the heavy smell of anti-septic. Her head was pounding but she couldn’t concentrate properly on anything but the smells and sounds. She had been dressed in an open backed robe, like that from a hospital, and her hair had been shaved as short as it could go. The room was filled with blinding lights that were all focused on her body sprawled out on the cold, metal bed.  
  
She looked around her seeing the doctors that held her were preparing injections and an I.V. while another cleaned where the needle was to go in. She felt their touches and watched them look through x-rays and files before feeling a sharp scratch against her arm. Slowly there was a feeling of burning through her body, flowing through her veins and spreading painfully, and as she tried to fight and struggle against the scientists injecting her. She watched one take away the now empty syringe only to pick up another one. The injections kept going one after another till all six of the syringes were empty and (Y/N) body burned and ached all over. Her body began to burn up and her mind couldn’t think of anything more than the pain. Her world seemed to darken and spin as she began to lose consciousness while those around her put in the I.V. before her wold turned black.  
  
She woke later chained by a collar to the wall of a plain white room, curled up on  an uncomfortable bed, with a glass wall on the opposite side of the room. She felt woozy and as she looked around the room she noticed deep scratches in the walls, claw marks in the floors, every surface had deep gouges as if a beast had been fighting to get out. She looked out to see one of the doctors from before taking notes and stealing quick glances at her.   
  
Days were spent trapped in this  half destroyed room with nothing but a slot in the glass wall where food was slipped through. The scientists seemed to take it in turns to watch their latest experiment as if they were expecting something great to happen. She just stayed on the bed, only moving for food and water, and kept her legs against her chest scared of what the scientists had planned for her. As she sat there she couldn’t help rocking slightly feeling the fear and pain from those strange injections a few days before.  
  
It was only a couple of days later that they decided to try once again, to try the injections that they had pushed into her, and when they came in they took her out using a catch-pole; like the ones used on animals. They dragged her back to that room, back to that cold table, the blinding lights that burned her skin. Once again (Y/N)’s body was strapped down against the metal table with the leather straps, after quite a struggle and a sedation, and the fear started all over again. The burning pain, the fear, the aching of her whole body. She was shaking with pure fear as the scientists gathered around her and forced her still as they injected the strange serums into her body. She struggled and fought against them as best she could, even under sedation, yet nothing seemed to break her free of the painful injections. Fear. Pain. Hatred. Panic. Her mind raced in desperation to escape and yet nothing seemed to work. She was doomed to be stuck in this cycle of fear, pain, agony, hatred.   
  
~~~~~~~~~Back to Present~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tony was sat far too close, Loki was watching him carefully and (Y/N) was shaking lightly trying to get away from the billionaire. Each time she got further away the man would fill the space once again. Loki was starting to get more frustrated with the foolish mortal that pestered his companion. Finally he slammed his book shut and threw it down on the table next to him earning a glare from Tony.  
  
"I believe she would be better sitting where she is now, leave her alone Tin-Man.” Loki’s expression was the coldest he’d had since coming to earth. “Oh? Is Reindeer Games jealous? I think she’s better hanging out with the team.” Tony just leaned back slightly and lay his arm across the back of the chair making (Y/N) feel trapped. “She’s not your toy to do with as you please Loki. She’s here to watch you and make sure you behave not to be some entertainment for you.” Tony’s words were a little cold as he spoke and gently placed a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder looking to her. “Come on, Bright-eyes, you need some time away from Frosty here. We’ll give you a great time.”  
  
(Y/N) was just sat there shaking, the memories of those horrible experiments swarming her mind, as her heart pounded in her ears. Her eyes seemed to stare off into space as more and more fear rose through her body making her shake. She curled up tightly in a corner of the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest, and stared out of the window feeling her fear only get worse. As the arguing between the god and billionaire got worse something seemed to change in the fearful woman.   
  
~~~~~~~~~Loki’s Point of View~~~~~~~~  
  
I couldn’t stand the sight of that fool trying to bother (Y/N) and obviously ignoring that fact she couldn’t stand him. He had no clue what she enjoyed doing, he hadn’t spent any time getting to know her, and he just thought his interests would be hers. He kept cornering her and just seemed to ignore the way she moved away from him. I seemed to just lose it when she began to shake and that idiot just didn’t seemed to get the idea she wasn’t interested.  
  
I couldn’t help how my snarky comments began to get more ferocious and angry. I just kept trying to get that moron to leave and he just didn’t seemed to understand he wasn’t wanted here. I tried to put myself between (Y/N) and this fool as soon as he stood and managed to keep a barrier but it seemed like she was still scared, her mind seemingly somewhere else entirely, and I just couldn’t seem to get her out of it.  
  
“(Y/N)? (Y/N)? What’s wrong? Talk to me mortal.” My words sounded colder then I had intended but I was worried about her. She seemed to be lost and no matter how I tried to snap her out of it she just stayed lost in that fear. I had never seen anyone so frightened and once it would have brought me joy but to see (Y/N) like this only seemed to make me more angry with the man of iron. I watched as she just stared out and suddenly she began to change form. Her body began to morph into something strange that must have been an animal of this pathetic realm. There was pure fear in those mismatched eyes as she changed into something wild and frightened.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~Narrator’s Point of View~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Y/N)’s fear seemed to have taken over her. She had lost her mind to the memories of what happened to her and it seemed that the results of those experiments was about to come to light to the team. Tony froze midsentence and seemed to be staring behind Loki with wide eyes making the Trickster turn slowly.  
  
Behind the Asgardian, and where (Y/N) had been sitting, was a large snow leopard with the same odd eyes. The creature was larger than any normal leopard, standing at 5 feet tall on all fours, and had brilliant silver spots against her thick coat. She snarled loudly glaring at the pair who had been arguing just moments ago. Both men froze looking at the powerful creature only to see her step down and begin to stalk them. She snarled as the pair began to step away from her slowly yet her eyes seemed to be focused on one person.  
  
Tony noticed those eyes were on him and seemed to move even faster away from her; keeping his eyes on the massive beast. “J.A.R.V.I.S. bud can you let the team know we got a wild one on our hands.” Loki glared at Tony before the man went running out of the room only making (Y/N) run after him snarling. Had it been any other time Loki would’ve laughed and left them to it but he couldn’t just leave the one mortal he liked to get hurt by those buffoons.   
  
He rushed through the tower unsure where Tony or (Y/N) had gone to only to hear the sounds of shouting and breaking glass from a few floors above. He tensed and teleported himself to where the ruckus was worrying about the woman who had been so kind to him after everything he had done and been through. She was the last chance he had for making up for everything he destroyed, she was a reason for him to want to protect this miserable realm.  
  
He froze at the sight. The terrified creature was being restrained by Thor while the other Avengers were tying her up. At some point Tony had gotten into one of his suits, Bruce was being calmed by Nat as he was breathing hard trying to control his anger, and Steve had his shield out obviously on the defensive. The room was an absolute mess with broken glass everywhere, damaged paintings, ripped up sofas and chairs knocked over. Everywhere was chaotic and Loki feared the worst would happen to this precious mortal; she was the only one that mattered him here. He could see her freaking out and trying to fight against the blonde haired god which only made Loki feel worried and feared she would get hurt.  
  
"(Y/N)!” Loki’s voice almost cracked as he rushed over to the freaking out leopardess trying to break her free. “Let go of her you fool! You are only making it worse!” He glared at his brother while the team were stunned at Loki’s reaction. He used his magic to restrain her lightly while getting his foolish brother off her as she tried to fight against the magic binding her down to the floor. Everyone was still stunned at Loki’s reaction to Thor clinging to the frightened creature.  
  
“Brother keep back, this creature has been chasing Tony and we just cannot calm it.” Thor tried to get Loki away but he mere glared at his brother as he knelt down in front of the frightened creature. She was thrashing and fighting against his magic trying to get away from everyone; growling angrily and even swiping her large paws at Loki. “Look what you did, Tin Man! You scared her so much…had I known this would happen I would have never let you come into the room. Why was I not made aware that she had such an ability?!” Loki’s tone was cruel and cold as he knelt before the tiring leopardess refusing to look away from her.  
  
“Look I didn’t know that would happen either Reindeer Games. I mean I knew she wasn’t a social butterfly so I thought would be better for her to be out of her bubble for a bit. We didn’t tell you because you didn’t need to know.” Tony quickly disassembled his suit while the rest of the team seemed to settle while keeping their eyes on Loki in case he decided to attack. “I think it is best that you guys leave while I calm her down. She’s terrified and right now she needs someone that has not harmed her.”(Y/N) seemed to huff, growling lightly, as she wore herself out fighting against the chains that just didn’t budge. “I do not think that is a good idea brother. She could be dangerous if she gets free. You can only just form those chains, what were to happen….” “Just leave the room, I need her calm, and you are right I can only just hold these chains up. So I suggest you leave now before she goes after that fool again.”  
  
Even though Loki had spoken so harshly it seemed that even Tony realised he’d need to get out of the room. Once the team left the room Loki dropped the chains and sighed heavily feeling himself weakened. The frightened feline before him watched him carefully as she caught her breath and glared down at him. “(Y/N), you need to calm down, you need to focus on who you are. I know you are scared, I know he pressured you, but this is never the way. Never let yourself lose control, that is never the way, you must calm down or you will end up badly hurting someone. Do not turn into the monster I became.” His voice was low and pained as he saw her slowly lay down, those bright eyes looking confused and worried.  
  
A deep grumble left her as she watched a hand slowly reach out to her. As the hand moved closer she watched as the skin began to change to an ice-cold blue with brilliant red eyes. To see Loki change made (Y/N) sit up quickly and watched him confused. The slight tilt of her head made the ex-prince laugh softly but his brilliant red eyes showed concern for the mortal. The change back seemed to be slow as she sat looking at the Asgardian before her worried. Her fur began to recede and her body slowly changed back to normal. She was still shaking lightly but it seemed she’d calmed down and Loki realised just how worried he had been of the mortal.  
  
There was only one person that he cared about as much, if not more, and that was his mother. She had been the one person who cared for him and took the time to show him he was special. He loved her and would give up the world for her. She had been the only person to make him feel welcomed at least till now. He would think his mother would hate him for what he had done now yet here was this mortal willing to spend her time with him and get to know him. She was the only one that seemed to actually make any attempt with him and in the short time they had been together they seemed to form a tight bond.  
  
His worry had surprised him and how fast he had reacted without thinking to protect her was something he never thought he would do. He hadn’t been one to rush into a fight but, at the thought that (Y/N) was going to get hurt, that all flew out the window when it came to the mortal.  
  
Finally she seemed to calm and her form returned to normal. She was breathing hard, obviously tired, as her eyes fell on the blue god before her. She was stunned by the bright blue skin and brilliant red eyes as she looked over the fallen god before her and felt his hand against her hair. He gently stroked her cheek, calming her racing heart, keeping her focus on him as he removed his thick jacket to cover the now nude woman with. She pulled the jacket close to her body covering herself up as she looked around the room confused and scared.  
  
She held her head lightly as Loki sat back, his skin returning to the Asgardian colour, looking her over to make sure she was okay. She closed her eyes tightly and hummed lightly as she tried to settle her pounding head. “What happened? How did I end up here?” She looked around the room seeing the destruction only making her remember those days as a test subject. “No…not again.” Tears began to well up in her eyes as she saw the scratches and broken glass. “(Y/N), (Y/N)! Look at me, this is not your fault, you need to stay calm.”   
  
Feeling his hands against her head seemed to calm her again yet there was one nagging question she just couldn’t settle. “Did anyone get hurt? You haven’t been have you?” Her voice shook lightly as she spoke only to receive a soft smile from Loki. “No one has been hurt. It never ceases to amaze me how much you care about someone like me. Come, let’s get you dressed, then you can explain to those morons what happened.”  
  
~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~~  
  
Loki had taken (Y/N) up to her room, teleporting her there, before he spoke to the team and told them to wait in the lounge area; which the team set to repairing. She had a quick shower, enjoying the hot water against her skin, and changed into a baggy hoodie and jeans to be comfy. She felt nervous about being with the team, about explaining what had happened to her, about being in a group in general. She took a look out of her room window at the city below seeing the cars, buses, taxis and people passing by on the streets below. She wished she could be like them, living normal lives, every day the same, with normal families and homes. There was a light knock on the door which brought her out of her thoughts and brought her back to the situation.  
  
“It’s open.” Her voice was a little unsure but as soon as she saw Loki walk in she visibly relaxed. “(Y/N), you don’t have to do this yet but they appear to be worried about you. It seems like they don’t trust me well enough to take care of you.” He took her hand gently and looked over her checked her gaze for something and obviously finding nothing to concern him. “I don’t want them to get hurt, I..I shouldn’t have been here, I should’ve known this would happen.” Loki’s hands quickly cupped her cheeks getting her to focus on him. “If you had not come here I would not see the point of this pathetic tower. You’ve shown me that not all mortals are simpering morons.” She shrugged lightly but smiled softly knowing he wanted to make her feel better. “Thank you, Loki. Sometimes it just seems like I’m so far from being human.” Her eyes lowered to the ground as Loki’s hands lowered and took hers. “You’re no monster, you have a heart that cares too much. You are not ice cold; not like me.” He sighed softly until he felt her hands hold his gently. “You’re not a monster; at least not to me. Come with me when I tell them.” At her words Loki just seemed to smile and nod to her. Oh how she reminded him of his mother yet it seemed like something else was there as well.


	3. Bright Blossoms

(Y/N) was still a little unsteady as she headed back towards the main communal area of the tower. She held onto Loki, just to try and steady her, as she travelled down the lift and out to the area that now had been all cleaned. She could see where she had ripped the walls, where she had ran through breaking glass and destroying the room. They had cleaned up most of it by getting rid of anything broken but she knew she had ripped carpets, missing statues and art showed what she’d broken, and the more she looked the more she seemed to find. Loki noticed where her mind was going and squeezed her hand gently to bring her out of her thoughts. The Avengers were all sat on the sofas together muttering and whispering to each other before Loki brought their attention to him.  
  
The team turned quickly and looked over to (Y/N) and Loki surprised and a little unsure of what to make of her. They had come across a lot so far but nothing was like this. She kept her head down and shoved her hands in the pockets of her hoodie feeling all those eyes on her at once. She took a deep breath and bit her lip lightly before looking back up at the team feeling nervous. “Hey look Short Stuff, you don’t have to tell us now, if you need to wait we can wait.” Tony smiled to her hoping for it to comfort her; which it surprisingly did a little. She had expected the first thing out of his mouth would be how much he hated her and how she was going to be kicked out of the Tower. When she heard what he had said she relaxed. She felt relief knowing that the team didn’t hate her  
  
“No, you…you all need to know. I didn’t want you guys to find out like this. I hadn’t wanted anyone to find out like this.” She felt Loki’s arms wrap around her and she felt security in his arms before he brought her over to one of the sofas; sitting her down so she could focus on talking. “I hadn’t ever wanted to hurt anyone, I hadn’t ever wanted to be…this…” She indicated her body as she spoke. “…but I had no control over that. I-My earliest memory is being strapped to a metal bed, having injections, strange chemicals, I didn’t know what they would do. There were people in masks, making notes, and then they began to-to make me do s-strange tests. I didn’t-I never thought any of this could…” She closed her eyes, fighting back the memories, and took a breath trying to calm herself. The team around her were stunned by what those words meant. She had been an experiment, she had been given a power she’d never been taught to control, she was obviously scared that they would hate her and throw her out. “I-They made me into-into a monster, I-I’m a freak, made to be a beast and fight.” She buried her face in her hands and felt Loki’s hand rub her back to calm her.   
  
The team looked over to her and let her calm down as she shook and thought back on everything that had happened. They gave her time to calm down, to settle her shaken nerves, before Steve came over and gently patted her shoulder. He wanted the girl to know that they would be happy to take care of her, that they would be there to help her, that they wanted her to feel like they could be a family without fear of anyone being rejected and hurt. “(Y/N), you’re not a monster or a freak. You’re the victim of an experiment you never wanted to be part of. We would never see you as a monster.” She felt relief as she heard the American Hero’s words and slowly relaxed seeing that the team were willing to accept her even though she thought herself a beast. “Yeah Short Stuff, we could never want you gone. You make this place feel more like a home, bring some normality, we’ve come back to you cooking us a full corse meal and everything.” Tony smiled to her and she was amazed that they had been so kind to her. “Tony, I…I’m sorry I chased you, I’m sorry I almost attacked you.” Tony just shook his head and smiled to her stopping her. “No need, I shouldn’t have pushed you as far as I did, I’ve been known to push my luck.” “He deserved what he got for upsetting you.” Natasha said smirking as she got a small laugh from the anxious girl.   
  
The team seemed to relax as they saw their companion settle with them, seeing her open up and be able to finally understand why she was the way she was. She had only had bad experiences with people, she hadn’t had anyone treat her like a person, and it seemed that now she had someone who saw her as more she was beginning to settle into a routine with them. She was so surprised that they had just accepted her as part of the family. She looked up at Loki and smiled as she felt his arm tighten around her keeping her close. He pulled her close to him and Thor noticed the way they’d looked at each other having only ever seen that look before with his parents. He smiled fondly thinking his brother had found something special and that the once lonely man could finally feel like he belonged somewhere. The team all came over and one at a time gave (Y/N) a hug welcoming her officially into the group before J.A.R.V.I.S. alerted the team to a mission they needed to go on. This was to be the mission that would make or break Loki. It was the first mission he was to be put in charge of and, although he wasn’t going alone, it meant a lot to the prince.   
  
He had known the reason for his change was no mystery; at least to himself. He knew that (Y/N) had changed him for the better and had given him a reason to keep fighting. He had been surprised when she didn’t see him as a monster, even after seeing his true form, and when she even looked to him for support he was amazed. He had never thought anyone could accept him like she had. He’d seen the way people were looking at him when they thought he wouldn’t see. He knew what people thought and said about him. To have the change to prove that they were wrong, to at least one person, gave the young prince hope. He got ready to go on his mission with Clint, Tony and Thor and could see that something was on his brother’s mind. He waited till they were away from the tower, away from prying ears, and confronted his brother about the strange looks the older man was giving him.  
  
“Oh do not think so poor of me Loki. I have merely noticed your affection for the young lady. You both seem rather smitten with one another. I am pleased you have found someone brother.” Thor smirked playfully as he spoke and the realisation that his moron of a brother had noticed the affection almost angered him. He stopped a moment to think if his brother had noticed maybe she had, maybe she was just acting the way she was to win him over. “Why would she be smitten with me? In my experience brother it is you who they are smitten for. Why would she want me when there stands you to prove how meek I am?” The three men were stunned by Loki’s reaction having thought he would deny it straight away. Thor was concerned that his brother still seemed to think so little of himself and both Clint and Tony had believed something was there. “I am not her type Loki. Is that not obvious? Who is it she spends most of her time with? Whose company has she wanted since the day she came here? It has always been you Loki, always, why now would you think anything else?” Thor could see just how unsure and confused his brother was. He had been so used to Thor getting what he wanted that the thought of someone choosing Loki over Thor confused him. “She has seen what I am Thor. How could she want me as her partner when she has seen the monster that I am.”  
  
(Y/N) had happily waved off the three when they had left on their mission but in her gut there was something up. She sighed softly as she came back down to the communal area to see Nat relaxing as she watched TV.  (Y/N) sat beside her and watched the show, something about wild animals in some mountain range, before the agent smiled to the girl. “Hey, good to see you’re doing well, you know we will always help you. You’ve done a lot for all of us. You’ve changed Loki for the better and even given the team a home most of us never thought we could have.” Nat smiled to her as she saw the girl get comfortable. “Loki seems to have taken a real shine to you. I’ve never seen him like he is with anyone other than you.” She smiled at the thought of Loki’s change. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, he has this look that I’ve never seen before, you’ve really pulled one over him.” She looked at the spy surprised by what she said. “No you must be seeing things, I mean why would he be interested in me?” Her words earned an eye roll from the spy before she shook her head. “Look (Y/N), Loki would be lucky to have you, he would do anything to have you at his side.” She just shook her head not believing what Natasha was saying. “I’ll prove it to you, Tony is planning a party in a couple of days. We’ll go get you an outfit I know you’ll both love. You’ve been through a lot today so we’ll go out tomorrow. Don’t worry about paying, we’ll put it on Tony’s bill.” She laughed lightly at (Y/N)’s stunned face. “Would that be alright with him?” Nat just smiled. “He’d never notice it, besides it’s for his party, he’d be thrilled to give you something so special.”  
  
The next morning, while Loki and the others were still out on their mission, Nat and (Y/N) spent time looking through different dresses online thinking of the types that would suit the shy, anxious woman. There were a few styles she seemed to like and now they had a few ideas of what they were going to get they planned their girly day out. Nat made sure they didn’t separate too far, not wanting (Y/N) to be uncomfortable or feel stressed, and the more they looked through the more (Y/N) seemed to enjoy the day. The two women spent the whole morning looking through different dress shops, wanting to find the perfect dress, and when (Y/N) came across one dress she couldn’t seem to put it down. The dress was a soft emerald green, with one strap over the left shoulder, and small gems across the strap. It looked beautiful and when she put it against herself she didn’t feel right having it. She didn’t feel like she deserved a dress like this but as she went to put it back Nat quickly took it and smiled. “Wow, now that’s a dress. It looks beautiful. Go try it on, I want to see what you look like in it.” The spy encouraged the unsure woman over to the changing rooms and pushed her inside. She waited for her to change and when she stepped out the spy stared amazed. The shy and awkward girl looked beautiful, she looked stunning, the dress held her curves perfectly, showed off her bust enough not to be obnoxious, and seemed to have been made to fit her perfectly.  
  
(Y/N) stared at her reflection in the mirror, she looked at how the dress held her form, and saw the stunned look Natasha seemed to have. She’d never thought a dress could be so beautiful and the more she looked at the dress the more she felt like it wasn’t right for her to take it. “Please tell me you’re going to buy that dress, you look absolutely stunning, he’d be speechless.” (Y/N) just looked down and ran her hand through her (H/L), (H/C) hair before sighing softly. She looked at the price tag and frowned slightly shaking her head. “Nat, this…this dress it…it’s beautiful, yeah it’s amazing but it’s so expensive and if…if I only wear it once then it would be such a waste.” Nat placed her hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Hey, first of all money isn’t an issue, second it’s not just the dress that looks beautiful, and third go for it, there are going to be plenty of parties where you could wear this.” Nat smiled as she saw the subtle smile on the girls face. “Who cares if you only wear it once? If it means you make Loki speechless then it’ll be worth it. Heck I’m sure he’d fine a reason for you to wear it. We’re buying it and that’s final, let’s get you out of it and find some shoes.”  
  
(Y/N) was surprised just how determined Nat was to get the dress and she even hunted for the perfect pair of shoes. They spent hours looking for a matching shawl, bag and jewellery before they found the perfect pair of flats. Each item had similar gems encrusted looking like they were falling down. Nat had bought her own dress, a red, thigh high, and matching shoes and the pair began to head back through the bustling city to the tower together; laughing together. (Y/N) knew she’d found someone who could be a good friend, someone she could have those days out shopping, she had a friend she could do all the things she’d missed out on. As the pair got back to the tower they were greeted fondly by J.A.R.V.I.S. who commented it was good to see (Y/N) was smiling. It had been the first time she truly smiled in a long time and it felt good to have somewhere she could comfortably call home, to have somewhere she felt she belonged, and to have something similar to a family around her. The girls began to look through pictures online, looking for different make-up styles, different hair styles, something they both could do to impress the team.  
  
After a couple of days the boys came back from their mission, having taken down a Hydra base, and Loki couldn’t wait to see (Y/N) again. Not being able to see or talk to her for a few days left him desperate to talk to her, to see her, to know she was okay. He was bothered that she would be okay being with the spy woman. He had known how manipulative she could be and there was a worry she would begin to turn the woman against him. The trio headed back on one of the jets and as they got closer Tony seemed to notice how desperate Loki  was to get back. “Well, it seems someone’s eager to get back. Are we such bad company?” Thor smirked as Loki ignored the billionaire’s comment. “Oh no brother Tony, I believe that there is someone he is eager to see. Have you not seen the way Lady (Y/N) and Loki look at each other?” Tony instantly seemed to realise and smirked playfully. “Reindeer Games has a crush on Short Stuff? I never would’ve thought. The pair have seemed to spend a lot of time together. She is very beautiful, I mean wow I’d love to wake up to that every morning…” At this Loki glared at the billionaire making the man go quiet. “You think you would be worthy of her? That you could ever have someone as special as her?” The sharp tone and how quick Loki spoke surprised Tony and he quickly tried to calm the man down. “Woah, slow down Rudolph, it was just a joke. Don’t worry I don’t think she’d ever want me, she has eyes on a much taller much stranger prize.”   
  
Loki didn’t understand the other’s words and instead chose to ignore the pair. He kept his mind focused on the goal of getting back to the only person that seemed to really understand him here. He ignored the ramblings of the two morons hoping they would drop it if he just ignored them that they would stop talking. He had no such luck as the more he ignored them the more Tony seemed to want to get a reaction. Finally as they got close to the tower Tony admitted the only thing that would now get a reaction from the Norse God. “Okay, I’m sorry, but you have to admit, you guys are a cute couple. You really do make a good match.” Loki was amazed the man admitted what he had and when he looked over to the other Tony smiled. “You want to impress her right? Well I’m having a party, a formal charity bash, why not suit up and show her just how special you could be?”   
  
Loki liked the thought of impressing her and when they got back to the tower the three men, after a shower each and a change of clothes, headed out to go shopping at the one place Tony knew best for suits. While Thor and Loki were being measured for their suits Tony got a call from Natasha. She had a plan to keep the two apart from one another until the party, which was now only a day or so away, to make their reveals that much more powerful to one another. Tony had liked the plan with it being kept hidden from both parties so they had no clue and liked the idea of keeping something from Loki. They just hoped the man would play along and wouldn’t find out what they had planned. After the two Asgardians were measured for their suits they were given the full suit to put on, quickly dressing, and stepped out of the changing rooms to reveal they both had stunning suits. Loki had black blazer and slacks with a green shirt and black tie while Thor had similar but with a red shirt.   
  
When they finally bought their suits and headed back to the tower Tony found that Loki was desperately searching for (Y/N) hoping to find her somewhere in the tower. Luckily J.A.R.V.I.S. had been told the plan to keep the prince and the woman apart and when Loki asked the AI where she was he simply replied that both women had gone out for a meal together and that he did not know where they went. Loki, not being able to tell deceit from honesty in the AI’s voice, ended up just taking his suit up to his room and hanging it up. He had enjoyed seeing himself in the suit and the thought of (Y/N) being impressed would make it all worthwhile.   
  
The next day couldn’t go fast enough for the whole team. Nat, Steve and Clint spent the day trying to keep (Y/N) out of the tower, taking her to get her nails done, have spa treatments, and Tony, Thor and Bruce, who got pulled into it by Tony, spent their day trying to get Loki to stay in the tower by showing him the forms he would have to fill in for the mission. They managed to drag the day on long enough that the pair would just miss each other before they got ready for the party. There were a lot of phone calls and texts to find out where the other was so they could avoid each other. Loki had been getting suspicious as to why the three men were keeping him so busy, and to why he hadn’t seen (Y/N) but every time he asked it seemed she was out. She seemed to always be away and the more he pushed the less he seemed to get.  
  
Loki had been tempted to slip away and use magic to try and find where she was but the thought of interrupting whatever peace she seemed to have. He would’ve known if anything was upsetting her and the fact that nothing was making him unsettled he decided to brush it off and just hope that when he saw her later she would be as happy to see him and he would be to see her. (Y/N) was also bothered that she hadn’t seen Loki since he left on his mission and she hoped that the man wouldn’t be too upset that they hadn’t seen each other. She didn’t know when he had been due back and when she was getting ready into the dress for the evening there was a small glimmer of hope that he would see her when she was there. She wanted to surprise him, to show him she was more than just smart, and she thought the dress could show that.   
  
The start of the evening had gone fairly well for the two women as they got ready, they had their hair done earlier in the day with them both having their favourite hairstyles, had been pampered and spoiled all day. Both women seemed to have a new glow to their skin and (Y/N) seemed to have found a new confidence with the new way she looked. They slipped into their dresses and worked on their make-up, Nat not allowing her to see her reflection yet, and only once everything was completed she finally allowed the anxious girl to see her reflection. (Y/N) was absolutely stunned as she looked at the woman reflected back at her. The woman looking at her looked so beautiful, so different to what she had expected to see, and she couldn’t help the tears that fell from her eyes. “Nat, this…I…” She tried to gather her thoughts to somehow thank the woman that made her look so stunning. The spy woman couldn’t resist smiling as she dabbed away the tears that rolled down her friend’s face. “Hey come on, we don’t want to smudge it just yet, all I did was bring to light your best bits. You’ve always been this pretty.” The two broke into light giggles before there was a knock at the door. Steve and Clint were waiting on the other side of the door to escort the two down to where the party was happening. It was exciting for the pair of them as they both walked into the buzzing room and almost instantly (Y/N) felt nervous seeing just how many people were there. All the excitement and joy seemed to flow out of her. It was so busy and the more she looked the more nervous she became. She clung to Clint’s arm feeling her stomach twist and knot at the thought of being around all these people. “Hey careful, you’re gonna break my arm at this rate, just chill out. No one’s gonna hurt you here.”  
  
As soon as Nat heard Clint she turned to see the younger woman panicked and looking round constantly. She hadn’t thought that the reaction would be so strong and she quickly took hold of the woman getting her to focus on the spy. She had to calm her nerves or they might end up with the same happening to Tony here. That was something both of them could do without and Nat knew it would only bother (Y/N) if she knew something like that happened again. She took the girl to the back of the room and left the two men puzzled as Nat calmed the woman down. She focused the (E/C) eyes of the younger woman on her own and that seemed to calm fearful girl down. “Hey, you okay? You need to keep a cool head okay? We won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.” Suddenly there was a voice booming over the speakers that everyone in the room could easily recognise.  
  
“Well, looks like we’ve got a great party going on. Who’s ready to really get this party started?” Tony’s voice boomed over the system as he walked down a set of stairs drawing everyone’s attention to him. He walked down the staircase with Thor, Loki and Bruce just behind muttering to one another. Loki was obviously searching for something in the crowd and when Nat saw Loki’s expression she knew exactly who he was looking for. “(Y/N) I think someone’s looking for you.” She looked up at where everyone else was staring and finally when Loki saw her he stared and a subtle smile came to his face. He slipped past Tony, who was continuing a speech and got the DJ to play some music, and headed straight to the pair. When he saw (Y/N) he was stunned, he stared at her amazed just how beautiful she’d become.   
  
He felt pride as he saw her in his own colour, to see her wearing the green he took as his symbol, and when he just stayed quiet it made her a little unsure. Nat nodded to the Asgardian as a silent warning to take care of her before she left the pair. (Y/N) was just as stunned by how Loki looked in his suit. The small amount of green on the black looked just perfect and his hair was slicked back; even cut shorter again making him look more like a businessman or CEO. He looked dashing and the more he looked at her the more mesmerised he seemed to become. The more they looked at each other the more they can’t help just staring when she slowly looked down with a bright blush on her cheeks. As soon as she looks down Loki cups her chin softly and pulls her gaze back to his. “You look stunning, you should not look down, I wish to keep gazing upon the stars in your eyes.” He smiled down to her and gently stroked his fingers along her cheek. He smiled adoringly to her and gently took one of her hands kissing the back of it.   
  
“The dress is amazing, I..I never thought I could ever…” Before she could even finish her sentence he frowned and sighed. “The dress may be beautiful but you are stunning. I have seen the greatest artworks in Asgard and none of it compares to you.” He smiled softly to her, even when she ran a hand through her hair unsure, before hearing music change to a slow song. He took a step back and bowed slightly; offering his hand to the woman before him “My dear, would you care to dance?” (Y/N) was stunned and looked to see the team watching them before they quickly looked away. “I don’t know how.” She bit her lip unsure before he gently took her hand guiding her to the dance floor. “Just follow my lead, I will guide you step slowly.” She was hesitant at first but she followed him to what had become the dance floor. He gently took one hand, placed her other on his shoulder, and placed his free hand on her hip. He took it slow as he held her and began to lead her through the dance and as she got more comfortable in the dance she began to smile and even stayed closer to the taller man.  
  
The pair fell into step in their dance just gazing at one another and enjoyed the blissful feeling they had in each other’s arms. They both held each other, moving slowly through the dance floor and the pair just seemed to fit perfectly. The team stood back and watched the pair as they danced together all feeling joy that the pair had finally seen the way they stared at each other. Loki held her close smiling softly before he ran a hand through her hair. “This colour looks so good on you. I had not thought green could ever look good on anyone but me and as always you find a way to surprise me.” He held her closer and ran a hand along her back sighing happily. “I had missed you so much while I was away, I had wanted to get that job over with so I could come back and make sure were okay. I could not stop thinking about you, I have never had anyone on my mind as much as you, I think I may have found a reason to love this boring planet. You give it such beauty that if I ever left I would regret it for all of eternity. I have finally found someone that could break the ice around my heart.” Hearing Loki speak so openly and freely surprised her and the thought that he could love her confused her yet she felt a thrill of joy rush through her at hearing his confession.  
  
“Loki, what are you saying? I-I mean I’m not…you could have anyone in the world.” She felt his hand cup her cheek and he slowly leaned down. “And if it’s you that I want? Would you let me say you were mine? Do you think you could be happy with someone like me?” She knew her answer and didn’t even have to think. “Loki, if I had a man half as good to me as you have been I’d be ecstatic, you’ve been wonderful to me. How could I ever think I could be worthy of you? You’re a prince, you’ve spent your life in a palace, being spoiled by maids and servants and I spent mine in some lab being made into…this.” He smiled softly shaking his head slowly. “If anything I do not deserve you. After everything I have done here, to think I could ever be with you, I’d have to be crazy.” She smiled and leaned up closing the gap between the two of them; kissing his lips softly and chastely. He smiled happily at her gentle kiss and returned one of his own that held much more passion and love then he’d meant to show.  
  
They spent the evening together barely spending a moment apart. (Y/N) felt she was in a dream, that she would wake up and it would all be over but the more Loki held her, the more he kept her close, the more she felt at ease. If this was a dream, then she didn’t want to wake, she could happily stay like this with Loki; if anything she didn’t want it to end. The world around them didn’t seem to matter as they enjoyed each other’s company and seemed to constantly hold each other throughout the whole evening. The plan between the spy and genius seemed to have worked perfectly and the whole team seemed to feel relief that the pair had finally opened up and confessed to one another. Thor seemed especially proud of his brother’s affection and hoped that she could be someone that could bring Loki back to the man he used to be.


	4. Fear of Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I had someone on AO3 ask me to write the next part to this series. I got a really good concept for the next part and I hope you guys like it. I warn you this has triggers of rape and Genophobia so please read with caution.

 

Ever since the party it seemed like Loki and (Y/N) had both been much happier. They began to spend more time together, he seemed much more amicable to the team, and she seemed to just have much more confidence around all the team. Loki had been officially accepted into the Avengers team working with group or training with them; still being more willing to push some of the team as slight revenge and teasing. They had all been much happier to see how both had grown yet there was something that still bothered her and Nat seemed to pick it up. She had waited till they were both alone to talk to her about whatever it was that seemed to affect her. She’d seen how she would tense or how her breathing would change whenever Loki went to touch her in certain ways and it was something she’d only seen a few times; but was sure she knew what had caused it after hearing what she’d been through.

 

The team were either on missions, training or working on the new base and her and (Y/N) were watching the tower giving them some peace and quiet for a short time. The younger woman had been sat watching the television when the spy came and sat beside her curling her legs under her to enjoy watching the show herself. “You and Loki seem to be doing well. It’s been what, three months, since the party and both of you seem like you’re on cloud nine. I mean Loki hasn’t done half of the tricks he used to, and you, well you’ve come out of your shell.” Nat kept her eyes on the TV as she spoke but she could feel (Y/N)’s eyes on her surprised by the way she approached her. “I couldn’t help notice there was still something bothering you though. I don’t think anyone else has but, if you need someone to talk to you know I’m always going to be here.” Nat finally looked to her smiling brightly but she could see the conflict in the woman’s eyes as the cogs seemed to turn in her mind. This was the same look she’d seen on the woman’s face whenever Loki’s hands began to get intimate, began to wander, whenever it seemed her comfort zone had been pushed.

 

“If I tell you, promise not to tell anyone, please? I don’t…I can’t tell him, I just can’t.” (Y/N)’s voice was soft and full of desperation when she spoke to the spy. With the subtle nod the worried woman seemed to tense more and her eyes wandered over to the window seeing the bright day outside. “You know about HYDRA’s work, what they did to me and how they changed me. They made me into something I feared but-but they did more than that.” Her hands moved to her shirt, pulling at the hem and tugging it nervously. “Before all that though, they-they did things no one should do.” She began to shake staring out the window before feeling the touch on her shoulder. “It’s okay (Y/N), just calm down, I-I can guess what they did. Is that why you’re so nervous when he touches you?” A nod was all that was needed for Nat to realise just how hard it had been for the poor woman during those times. “You know you’ll have to tell him you two need to talk about something like this. I don’t know if he’s noticed yet but I’m sure he will and he might feel like you’ve been lying if you don’t tell him.”

 

(Y/N) frowned lightly at the thought of upsetting Loki but she didn’t know if she could tell him. She wanted to, so many times, but she worried that what happened to Tony would happen again; fearing losing control more than anything else. She bit her lip anxiously as her mind reeled over what could happen if she told him and she was so lost in her mind that she didn’t notice when Loki came into the room. She could tell instantly that there was something wrong. There was a tension in the air that you could almost cut and he quickly looked over seeing just how nervous the woman he loved was. He rushed over to her worried about what had bothered her only to see her startled out of her mind; almost scared to see him there. “Widow, what have you done to her? She’s frightened out of her mind!” Loki’s voice was a mixture of fear and anger thinking the spy had been the one to upset his lover only for the smaller woman to place a hand on the prince’s arm. “Loki stop. She didn’t do anything, we were just talking and something came up, it’s nothing to worry about.” As soon as Loki’s hand went to rest against (Y/N)’s leg she tensed and he finally seemed to notice that her tensing wasn’t something good. 

 

He’d thought at first it had been her leaning into his touch, that she’d wanted more of it, yet now he actually looked at her he could see the wide eyes, the way they flicked from where they touched to him, the way her breathing became more shallow. He knew she was scared, but it wasn’t of him, her eyes changed subtly when she looked to him from when she looked at his hand against her leg terrified. “(Y/N), my love, what’s wrong?” He slowly pulled back his hand seeing her slowly change back and he looked back at the red head behind him. “I’ll just leave you two alone, I think you two need to talk about this, if you need me I’ll be in my room.” She quickly slipped away and Loki took her seat on the couch feeling his own body tense up with nerves about what was going on. “Love, you know you can talk to me about anything, I am not going to torment you or tease you for whatever it is that caused…that kind of reaction.” He could see how scared she was just sitting there playing with her fingers on her lap; obviously scared of talking about whatever got her in this state.

 

“Loki I don’t think I can talk about…this. It’s not something I want to talk about, I’m scared I’ll lose it, that you’ll get hurt because of losing control. I can’t have that happen again.” She put her head in her hands trying to hold back the tears only to feel Loki’s hand on her back; rubbing it carefully. “I know you have strength in you to control that creature just like I have strength of my own, I have my own reason to stay strong and that’s you, I am sure that knowing you don’t want to harm me will stop that change from happening.” Hearing his soft voice helped calm her a little and his cool hand on her back seemed to bring down the fear yet she still couldn’t talk. She wanted to tell him, for him to know her fear and she knew there was only one way that was going to work. She had to let him into her mind, let him see just what she had been through, it was the only way she could let him know without bringing up the pain from those memories.

 

“Loki, I want you to do something I’m not sure you’ll want to.” She bit her lip as she looked to him and sat up a little; his own eyes showing confusion and worry. “I know you can read minds, as long as whoever you’re working on lets them, and I want you to do that.” He was stunned to hear her words and searched her eyes for something it seemed he would never find. It had been so long since anyone had let him look into their mind and he had never expected her to let him. It was something he had always been tempted to do when he wondered what was going on in her mind however he hated the thought of invading somewhere so private. “Love, are you sure? Something like that it’s, well, very intrusive and I would not want you upset from such magic. It is also very draining for those it is used on, you may sleep for days after such magic, are you really sure you would let me into your mind like that?”

 

She nodded slightly looking to the Asgardian prince smiling a little nervously as the prince stared at her stunned. He gently cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb across the soft skin, feeling her tense again at the gentle strokes before pressing their foreheads together. Slowly green light began to envelope the pair as they sat together as the magic slowly allowed Loki into her mind. First he felt her love for him, her complete dedication to him, then her fear seeped into his mind, the fear of his hands moving closer to intimate parts of the body, the want to be with him but the fear of sexual relations. Slowly the feelings became images, became flashes of memories and torments that seemed to wreck the prince’s mind faster than he ever expected. He could feel the pain and agony, see the monsters that called themselves men taking advantage of the weakened woman. They had done things no one should ever do to anyone, they attacked her, strapped her down so she couldn’t run and took their pleasure out on her. Feeling the fear and pain flood him made the prince jolt back breathless; stunned at how she had kept such pain hidden so well for so long.

 

They spent a few moments just catching their breaths as they stared at each other not know quite what to do with themselves. Loki hadn’t lied when he said the magic was tiring, (Y/N) feeling all energy from her body sucked out from such a short amount of time, yet it seemed it had tired him out more than he had ever expected it to. After a few moments of silence Loki seemed to finally find his voice again; laced with shock and anger. “My love, I-I am so sorry I have put you through that fear again. I had not known you had been through such madness. If those men ever come near you again I promise to make them feel infinitely more pain.” Seeing the anger and pain in Loki’s eyes worried her and she didn’t want to see Loki go back to the way he used to be. She quickly took his hand and held it tightly bringing him out of the dark thoughts that swarmed his mind. “How? Just how did you manage with such memories?” He could feel the tears in his eyes but wouldn’t let them fall trying to be strong for her. “Loki, there’s no need. When I escaped their facility the ‘other side’ took matters into its own hands. They’re gone, all of them, so there’s nothing more you can do other than just help me move on.”

  
She was shaking wildly, feeling the exhaustion take over, and fell back a little in her seat staring up at the ceiling. She felt arms slowly move to pick her up, trying to avoid any sensitive areas or anywhere that he had known those monsters had touched her. He was careful to carry her up to her room, like a new bride, and gently lay her down on the bed. With a click of his fingers she had been changed into comfortable sleep-wear and began to turn away giving her chance to calm down. Her hand quickly reached out to grab his wrist not wanting to be alone and offered for him to sit on the bed with her. “Loki, stay, please? I don’t want you to go.” Hearing her soft voice brought a warm smile to his lips as he sat down and gently stroked her hair; soothing her into her sleep. “Don’t worry my love, I will help you through this, I will always be here for you should you need me or not.” This was the last thing she heard as (Y/N) fell into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Trust and Acceptance

Loki had been right about the magic being draining on her body, making her sleep for a day and a half to recover, and when he realised she would sleep he thought it best to leave her alone. He knew she’d need as much rest as she could get to recover from the stress of such a spell and bringing up such memories but he had to figure out just what she needed. He hadn’t expected anyone to every want him, never mind need him, and he wasn’t sure how to help her through the hell that she had been through. He knew she wanted him to help, she’d said so to him the night before, but he’d never helped anyone through such a devastating history.

 

When he headed down to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast he noticed Natasha was sat watching the television while eating her breakfast. He knew the two women were close and thought that maybe she could help if she was willing to. He sat himself beside her with his own breakfast, testing her reaction to him first as he sat near her, and when she didn’t move away he relaxed into the chair looking to her. “Miss Widow, thank you for giving (Y/N) and I some peace to talk last night. She seemed to need it and it seems she thinks I can help her but I am not so sure myself. She let me into her head, to see what she’d gone through…” He frowned a little as he spoke remembering the horrid feelings but decided not to go into detail in case she hadn’t told the woman. “That’s pretty big. You think you can manage all that responsibility?” She leaned back in her seat looking to him. “I don’t know, that’s why I hoped you could help, I’ve not had anyone…need me like this before and I wondered what exactly might help her?” Nat left her bowl on the table in front of her and sat cross-legged on the sofa looking to Loki surprised.

 

She had been the last person she thought Loki would ever talk to by choice but it seemed he was willing to do something to help her out. Although she hadn’t been with the team for very long she had grown attached to (Y/N). She had wondered whether Loki would keep her happy, whether he could be dedicated enough to her, but hearing, and seeing, Loki ask for help seemed to show he was thinking more of what she needed and not what he wanted. The corners of her mouth rose a little in a coy smile as she relaxed into the seat looking over Loki. “She’s given me a clue of what she’s gone through. Stuff like that isn’t easy to get through, she’s not had anyway willing to help her, but just know it’s not going to be easy for either of you to go through. She’s going to re-live the hell she went through before and you’re going to learn just how it affected her, both of you are going to have to take your time, you’re gonna have to learn her limits and slowly work on pushing them. Stuff like you letting her initiate hugs or touches, and then slowly starting to initiate them or asking her for them. I know she doesn’t want to lose you and I hope that you care for her as much as it seems because if you hurt her then be prepared to have the whole team on your ass.”

 

Loki could tell the weight of the words the assassin was saying and he knew she would keep the silent promise of protecting her should he hurt her. He would be the same if any of the team hurt her, making sure they would regret harming her, and he understood completely where she was coming from. The pair sat and spoke for a few hours, while the rest of the team were asleep or out on missions or just relaxing in their rooms, as he discussed with her the best ways to try and help (Y/N) through the hell she had been through without making her panic. It had been a few hours and Nat had managed to give Loki an understanding of what he needed to do to help the woman he loved. He went to check on her around lunch time finding her still deep in sleep but in a pleasant dream. Knowing she was okay he left her to sleep with a note for her in case she woke up, stating that he was downstairs if she needed him, and slipped down to the kitchen spotting Tony with a bottle of scotch and a glass. He remembered that (Y/N) had told him she thought the man drank too much alcohol and it was clear he hadn’t had any breakfast yet.

 

He watched the genius pour himself a drink, talking with Bruce about some new experiment, and muttered a spell under his breath as he watched the alcohol change from golden to clear. He smirked a little as he watched the male go to sip at his drink only to find it had changed to water while he was distracted. He stared at the water and then the bottle of alcohol feeling confused on how it had changed between being poured. He grumbled a little and poured out the water before trying to pour another drink only for that to turn into water again. He glared at the glass as if it had personally insulted him and slammed it down onto the side to try with another drink. Each alcoholic drink he’d tried to pour himself would turn to water as soon as it left the bottle making anger boil through the genius’ blood. “What the hell’s going on?! I just want a god damn drink!” Tony growled out angrily as his own words seemed to sink in. “God damn…” Loki had quickly sat down after casting the spell, acting as if he was doing nothing more than reading a book, and felt the sharp glare of the billionaire over his shoulder. “Loki, what have you done? There isn’t exactly anyone else who can make my very expensive alcohol turn into water, so whatever you’ve done, I suggest you undo it.”

 

Loki closed the book and lay it on his lap looking over to the billionaire. His brilliant green eyes just looked over the billionaire, as he thought on whether to revoke the spell or not, before sighing and leaning back in the seat again. “I am taking no joy in such a spell, Tin Man, I am simply doing what (Y/N) has requested. She has commented multiple times that she wished you would drink less and it seems you ignored her each time or drink more to annoy her. I thought I’d help along with remedying the situation, for her sake more than mine. The less stress and worries she has, the better. Like I said this is purely in (Y/N)’s best interest.” Loki smirked a little as he spoke, clearly enjoying the spell, before putting on a straight face. Tony felt his blood boil as Loki spoke, as Loki moved, hell everything about him now was infuriating the man. “Yeah, don’t enjoy it my ass, just undo whatever trick you’ve pulled. I want my alcohol.” Tony squared up against the god feeling frustration boiling over when Nat walked in seeing the pair acting like children; well Tony was, Loki was just winding the situation up.

 

“Okay boys, enough with the pissing contest, Loki whatever you’ve done just undo it for (Y/N)’s sake.” Nat gave Loki a look and he just smiled to the red head repeating what he’d said to Tony. “This _is_ for her. She always states that he drinks far too much and that it worries her and so to help reduce the stress and worry, which you stated I needed to Widow, I thought I would help him alter his habits.” Loki kept that same smooth tone as he smirked to the red head before heading up to the library; leaving a furious Tony muttering and mumbling about not being able to drink. Throughout the day Loki kept checking up on (Y/N), making sure she was still okay, and settled himself in a corner of the library whenever he found a book he wanted to know. He had wanted more ideas on how to help the woman he loved and built himself a pile of books on human psychology to find every method that might give him some more information. He made sure to do one last check of her as it got dark leaving her a glass of water and making a new note letting her know where he was. He didn’t realise how late it had become until he felt someone lay a hand against his shoulder.

 

He couldn’t help jumping at the unexpected contact and looked behind him to see (Y/N) smiling down to him; clearly not long woken up. He smiled back to her and lay his hand over hers gently watching the way she reacted to his hand on hers. She didn’t seem to mind the small touch and he offered her the seat next to him and watched as she slipped onto the seat keeping just a small space between her and Loki. She looked over the piles of books that seemed to surround the god and picked one up noting where the god had put notes or pieces of paper to mark pages. She frowned as she began to thumb her way through some of the books, pausing on the marked pages once in a while, before feeling Loki’s eyes on her and finally looking at him again. “Did you sleep well? I told you the magic would drain you didn’t I?” He was clearly concerned about her and he put his hand out for her to take if she wanted. She looked between his hand and him and took hold of it gently before squeezing it a little. “I slept okay, and yeah you did. How long was I out for?” She smiled and ran her thumb along his hand gently; Loki letting her take the lead for any touches.

 

“Well, you’ve slept for the whole night and day, but I checked on you a couple of times to make sure you were okay.” He lightly rubbed his thumb along her palm watching her reactions carefully and stopped when he realised she’d tensed up a little. “I spoke with the woman assassin, just wishing for advice on how to help you, not one of my proudest moments but she gave me some good advice. You said you thought I could help you, I had thought she was the best to ask how, I still don’t know what you think I can do to help.” He kept his gaze on their hands and watched as her thumb rubbed along his hand. She smiled seeing the way he behaved with her, clearing trying to be careful not to push the limits like before, and cupped his chin to direct his eyes to hers. “I think you could do a lot Loki. I hate that I recoil at touch, especially your touch, hell I want to be able to hug someone and not have flashbacks. You’re clever and you’re the first person that I really want to have physical contact with. No one else ever made me happy enough to trust them but with you I’d give up anything to be able to just hug and kiss like normal couples do.” She felt tears coming to her eyes and Loki cautiously wiped one of the tears from her cheek as it rolled down. “See you can’t even comfort me without worrying it freaks me out.”

 

He smiled softly to the young woman and rubbed his thumb gently against the woman’s hand again. “I hadn’t realised what had hurt you before and I don’t want to stress you out or make you panic again. If I were to lose you then I would probably go back to the way I was before. If you believe that I can help you through this then that’s all I need. We can get through this (Y/N), why do you think I’ve been reading up on everything? From what I’ve read then you should be the one to lead the touches, to show me what you feel comfortable with but it also means you know what limits you have and if you push too hard too fast then you’ll only make things go backwards. Trust that if you can’t cope, you can tell me, and we can stop. There’s no point in pushing you so far that it becomes all for nothing.” He smiled warmly to her and she cupped his cheek with the same hand that had held his before; returning the smile as she stroked the cheek. “You’ve clearly been busy while I was asleep.” She chuckled softly to herself before looking through all the books he had piled around him. “So you’re saying I’m in charge of us, of our relationship, of everything?” She frowned a little, surprised that Loki had even offered her the control, and he just nodded slowly before offering her his hand to let her put it wherever she wanted him to.

 

She stared at the hand in front of her as if it were a strange gift or a new creature she hadn’t seen before. It was more the meaning of the offer that had her staring at the hand and she looked between the hand and his face before carefully taking the hand and laying it cautiously against her cheek; her mind racing with what could happen if Loki had wanted to harm her. She closed her eyes tightly and focused on the fact that she was in control of his touch, which seemed to calm her mind just long enough for her to begin to enjoy it, and smiled as she felt his thumb slowly begin to rub her cheek. Loki had noticed how she’d begun to enjoy the touch and had hoped the gentle rubs that had comforted her before; feeling a small bubble of joy seeing her still smiling. “We’ll get there (Y/N), we just have to give your mind a chance to understand that I love every inch of you, and that I would never want to see you hurt by anyone’s hand.”

 

The pair of them had sat together for a short while longer, taking note of the pages that Loki might find useful later, before moving to the large lounge where the team usually sat together after missions. The pair were lucky to find that everyone was somewhere else and they got comfortable on the large sofa together while (Y/N) flicked through the channels looking for something decent to watch. Loki sat with an arm across the back of the chair while (Y/N) had started off sitting forward a little; resting her elbows on her knees. She had gotten distracted with whatever programme she’d left the television on and ended up leaning back and slowly moved closer to the god who had been sitting comfortably reading the book he had left there earlier. He hadn’t realised how close she had gotten until he felt her jump away at Tony grumbling and huffing as he stormed passed hoping the spell had worn off so he could get a drink.

 

When he discovered that it hadn’t faded yet he seemed to growl and looked over to the pair; Loki back to reading while (Y/N) looked over puzzled at Tony being so annoyed. “You need to get him to take this damn spell off me. Every damn drink I pour turns to damn water! Even if someone else pours it, it changes when I hold the glass. All I want is a damn drink!” Tony huffed clearly annoyed. (Y/N) sighed and looked to Loki with a stern look. “Take off the spell Loki, just give us peace, cause the longer you leave it on the more he’s going to complain.” Loki didn’t look at the billionaire and just smiled to the woman he loved playfully. “You always said how you hated how much he drank, so I thought I could adjust this for you.” She laughed and shook her head sighing. “Well just take it off before he complains more.” Loki pouted a little, but when her look didn’t change and she moved away a little, he gave into her request and waved a hand; removing the spell. With the spell gone Loki huffed a little, his little game over with, and Tony seemed to be much happier; or maybe it was the drink.


	6. Strong Progress

The evening for the pair, after Loki had released the spell, seemed to become peaceful. (Y/N) hadn’t wanted to go to bed too early as she felt she’d just woken up and wanted to spend some time with the ex-prince. The pair spent till late night, or maybe till early morning, just enjoying each other’s company for a while as the television played a late night film. Loki hadn’t realised that as they sat there (Y/N) had been getting closer to him and even moved to lean against him when she fell asleep. He sighed softly seeing the way she snuggled against him while deep in her sleep and he stood up, scooping her in his arms bridal style, and took her to her bedroom to let her rest. He had taken plenty of notes, taking them with him to her room to read up on while she slept, and began to work out the best way to help (Y/N) without pushing it too far.

 

To say Loki never did anything without thinking it through, isn’t always true, but the times he does plan he plans for everything. He had planned for if she got lost in her flashbacks, for when everything got so bad she could barely function, for when it became hell for her, but he also planned for if it went better than expected, planned for dates and ways to improve herself faster and faster. He planned out each day to make sure each idea he had come across was made part of the plan, to see what ideas worked for her and test just what would work best. He’d never been in a position like this before, he’d never cared so much for someone else’s happiness before, and it scared him to think that if anything happened to her then he would lose himself. She had his heart and it was the first time he would honestly give up his life to protect her which was a scary thought for the trickster god.

 

Over the next few days the pair began to put the plan into action. They would start with small touches, letting (Y/N) control how far the touches could go, and it seemed at first that it was working well. Loki had noticed that after a month her reactions seemed to improve, she didn’t tense so much at his touch, she didn’t flinch if he brushed his hand against hers, and she started to take hold of his hand more, being closer to him, sitting close to him on the sofa together; as long as his arm wasn’t wrapped around her. He had noticed she didn’t like having his arms wrapped around her, realising she felt trapped if he held her like that, and she had realised that the limit she thought she had was slowly beginning to change; feeling more comfortable putting her trust in the god. Loki felt proud to see how far they had both come along in a month, to see how much better (Y/N) had become with not only him touching her but the rest of the team as well.

 

He had noticed that she would stand and sit just a little closer to the different members of the team, she was more comfortable with helping the team out, and even seemed to gain control over her shifting ability. At the end of the second month the team began to discuss working with (Y/N) to train her to become part of the team. Loki hadn’t liked the idea at first, worried that the training might make all their hard work fail, but he gave in eventually with the condition that he could watch some of the earlier training matches to make sure she was okay. He didn’t want to see her hurt or to think she might panic, knowing she’d only see herself as a monster for her loss of control, but when he had seen the way she laughed and smiled throughout the training Loki knew this would help her. Thor had noticed that his brother was clearly not his usual self, finally able to see the ‘real’ Loki, and had seen the way he would check (Y/N) every time she finished training. He’d hadn’t seen Loki so worried about someone like this since he was young an inseparable from their mother. He had waited for the team to leave, knowing Loki wouldn’t want to talk with everyone there, and moved to sit with Loki; only to earn a glare from the trickster god. “Oh mighty Thor, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Loki barely raised his eyes from his book as he felt his brother sit close to him.

 

“I just wish to speak with you brother, you remember that we used to do such things together?” This only earned an eye roll from the god as he kept his eyes on the book. “Miss (Y/N) and you seem to be getting along well. It is nice to see you have someone you trust and care about again. After your fall, I thought I had lost you, and yet you were alive but you were not the Loki I remembered but it seems now that Loki I remember. The missions you have been going on you seem to be working with the team rather than staying back, it reminds me of when we were young and father would send us out on raids or peace talks.” Thor smiled fondly to his brother remembering their misadventures from their younger years. Loki just shook his head and sighed lightly as he lay down the book he had been reading; realising his brother wasn’t going to leave.

 

“And what exactly is your point, brother? I get you enjoy thinking of the old days but that Loki was a fool to believe he was wanted or needed there. I had always felt on the edge of your little jobs, like an afterthought, as both you and your friends were informed of the tasks and then sent to retrieve me to ‘aid’ you. Your companions also refused to acknowledge the number of troublesome spots I saved you all from.” He sighed heavily shaking his head as he spoke. “May you now leave me in peace so I may finish my book and plan for the missions ahead.”

 

Thor frowned a little at his brother’s words, hearing the Loki he refused to believe was true, and sighed softly as he just got himself comfortable on the seat. He wasn’t about to allow Loki to wallow in solitude like he had allowed himself to do all those years ago. Although Loki had tried to focus back on his reading, Thor ignored the mutters and behaviour Loki showed and just sat with him talking excitedly about how everything had changed for both of them. Although Loki didn’t appear to be paying attention the words Thor was saying did reach him and it did make him think just how much (Y/N) had changed him positively. Although when he had attacked he hadn’t been in full control, the sceptre making his craving of power into an obsession clouding his usual judgement, he’d had some control over his actions and he had felt frustration at himself for letting the weapon control him; even if it was just a small amount. He had always seen himself as different, as someone who would never belong anywhere without people fearing him or respecting him, and had thought himself to be a monster once he’d found his true heritage but when he had met (Y/N) she didn’t fear him, she didn’t hate him, and she didn’t judge him.

 

Looking back, he hadn’t realised just how kind she had really been to him. Those first few weeks with him he had insulted her on multiple occasions, had behave how he had with everyone new being sure they would abandon him eventually, and yet she had stayed with him on those quiet times allowing him to just be who he wanted to be. She’d accepted him for who he was and trusted him enough to give everything to him, she had even helped him feel like he belonged there with her, and as he looked back on everything he’d done he realised if he could go back and change everything he doubted he would if it meant he didn’t meet her. He hadn’t expected such a thought to rise to mind but he knew he would give up everything for her and that thought scared him. He knew if she was ever in trouble then he would do everything to help get her out but this also meant they could use her to get to him if anyone he crossed knew of her.

 

As his thoughts began to shift to this more dangerous area they were broken when (Y/N) walked in. He could hear Nat congratulating her on how well she’d improved and noticed Thor moving to give her space beside him; with a playful wink. The pair of women got themselves a drink and laughed together as (Y/N) sat with Loki while Nat planned to head up to her room. He stayed silent as the women laughed together a last time before Nat moved off and (Y/N) tucked her legs under her while she sat next to Loki. She had clearly showered after the training, her hair still a little damp, and she played with a strand as she looked to Loki smiling. It was clear something more than just the training had happened between the two women during their session but when he felt her hand against his, to make him lower his book, he noticed there was something different. She took hold of his hand gently, seemingly thinking of something and building her courage to say it, and she smiled softly to him now she had his full attention.

 

“Loki, you’ve done so much for me, stuff I never thought anyone would be willing to do, and I owe you so much. You’ve tried so hard to help me and now I’ve gone from panicking every time someone touched me to being able to train and spar with everyone. I can hold your hand and have even started being able to hug you and it’s all thanks to you just willing to help me. Loki, I love you so much.” She cupped his cheek gently and smiled brightly; almost on the verge of tears of joy. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. You might think it’s the other way around but without you I wouldn’t be half as comfortable around everyone and I doubt I’d feel half as useful as I do now.”

 

She rubbed her thumb along his cheek gently and finally built up the courage to lean forward and press her lips to his. She felt the way he kissed her back but was careful to let her guide how far she could go. This was why she trusted and loved him. He took his time with her, pushed her a little when he thought she could manage, showing her what she could do if she put her mind to it. She pushed her hand into his hair and began to deepen the kiss feeling the joy it brought her. She had taken time to build her courage, having wanted to kiss him like this from the moment they had become a couple, and she now let her mind relax; allowing her instincts guide her.

 

She lightly tugged at his hair making him groan softly as his own hands moved to lay over her hips. He didn’t know how far she was willing to go, how much she wanted to do, but he was happy to just enjoy the attention she offered him. It was the first time the pair had been that intimate and it was just a passionate kiss. When she slowly pulled away her cheeks were bright red and she couldn’t help playing with her fingers nervously. She had spoken with Nat about how she had wanted to kiss him and how she feared it would cause a reaction but to have her own body enjoy it only made her feel better.

 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.” She muttered softly and smiled to him as his thumb rubbed her side gently.

 

“Me too, but I had not wished to push you beyond what you felt you could do in that area.” Loki smiled warmly back to her and lay his forehead against hers; it was certainly one way to give him something to come back to.


	7. Missions Return

Loki and (Y/N) had been sat happily, sitting close to each other on the massive chair in the lounge, almost constantly touching each other in some way; holding hands, leaning against each other and leaning heads against each other. This was the closest they had been in a while after Loki had realised her reactions to him holding her were negative. Now he was happily sat reading one of his books, which had interested (Y/N) but she couldn’t understand it, while she watched some films that Tony had stored on the entertainment system. She was cured up right next to him with his arm around her to hold her gently. She’d never been this comfortable around someone before and she felt wonderfully relax with him; much more relaxed than she ever thought she could be around anyone. She could feel his hands playing with her hair as he read the book in his lap and she could feel sleep starting to take over her. He noticed she had started to drift off and moved slightly to sit up a little.

 

“Love, if you’re tired then you should go to bed, it would not be good for you to sleep here.” He smiled softly to her as she shifted a little wanting to stay close to the god. He could see the slight change as she almost pouted at his words. “Please (Y/N), I wish you to rest well, my missions will begin soon and I wish to know you are doing well for me while I am away.” He kissed her forehead gently and she sighed softly feeling his lips against her skin.

 

“I don’t want to go to bed yet, I don’t want to miss out on being with you.” She smiled a little sleepily and the fallen god just chuckled softly. “I’m worried about you Loki, I don’t want you to go off on some mission and I don’t see you again. I’ve not had _anything_ like this before and I know you’re a ‘god’ but I just…” She frowned and looked down at her hands playing with her fingers awkwardly.

 

Loki cupped her cheek gently and smiled softly as she looking into her (E/C) eyes. “Do not worry love, I will not let anyone take me away, you are worth far more to me than anything.” He rubbed his thumb along her cheek gently. “Now you must make sure that you rest, I can tell you had a hard training session earlier and you need to make sure you are well rested for each training session to come. You are to be part of the team, no matter how much I disagree with it, and so you must know how to defend yourself in any situation.” He stood and scooped her up in his arms, supporting her by her knees and back, and held her close. The young woman just grumbled tiredly as he lifted her but when she realised he was willing to carry her all the way to her room. She frowned in his arms and moved a little as he began to walk towards the elevator to take her to her room.

 

“Loki I can walk, please put me down. I erm…” She looked down as he slowly let her stand in the elevator but still kept an arm wrapped around her. He had to wait until they were away from the AI cameras as what he wanted to do to make (Y/N) feel better would use his magic and he didn’t want the system knowing what he was about to do. She was important to him and hearing the worries that rattled her mind only made him more certain that the magic he would use would benefit them both. He held her close smiling to her when he felt her tuck herself close and when her hand lay over his at her side. When they got to their floor, her staying on the same level as him once they had become a couple, Loki walked her to her room and sat on the end of the bed; patting next to him to get her to sit next to him.

 

She sighed softly and sat down next to him on the bed; tucking her legs underneath her to sit a little more comfortably. She could tell there was something serious he wanted to say and the way he looked at her made her feel a little uneasy. His hand gently took hold of hers as she could begin to feel his magic slowly flow around their hands. She didn’t quite know what he was doing but she watched as his other hand moved to cup hers as he smiled. He was about to do something he had never done for anyone else before and it made him wonder how he had been lucky to win over the girl after the hell that had been brought by his hands. As the magic swirled around their hands he watched her looked a little confused making him chuckle softly.

 

“The gift I am to give you is something very special for both of us. Although I do not have all of my magic, what I do have can be very useful, feel honoured as I have never performed this spell for anyone. You are the only one I would ever use this spell with.” He kept his eyes focused on hers and could see she only got more confused. “This spell requires a strong bond between the people it’s used on, family ties aren’t enough, but the way we feel for each other, the way we care for each other allows the spell to work.”

 

The magic curled around their wrists and began to glisten and form something around where it coiled tightly. It began to form a bracelet around each wrist with a leather straps at the bottom and a gold animal to represent each of them across the top of the wrist. Loki had a serpent, with emerald eyes, curled in an eight with the leather wrapped around while (Y/N) had a snow-leopard, with sapphire eyes, curled up with the leather wrapped around a tail and a leg. She could feel the magic slowly spreading and fading as the bracelets hardened on their wrists. She frowned as she looked at the matching set wondering just what these bracelets could do and she felt one of his hand slowly move to cup her cheek.

 

“I can see you’re confused, these small charms connect us to each other, they’ll let us know if anything is happening to us. These mean we can tell if the other person needs help, it can tell you where each other is, whatever is happening to us.” He smiled softly to her and kissed her forehead gently. “This will let you know if anything happens to me, I know you’d come to my aid if anything did happen, but I doubt that anything serious will happen to me. This is to put your mind at ease.” He let her hand go gently and rubbed his thumb along her cheek gently. He could see the small tears forming in her eyes and gently wiped them away.

 

“I swear Lokes, if anything happens to you I’m not letting them get away with it.” She smiled warmly and rested her forehead against his. “No matter what I will always come to help you. I’ll always come to save you, if anything happens on those missions then they better look out, ‘cause no one harms the person I love.” He chuckled softly at her words and held her face gently getting her to focus again.

 

“Do not worry love, I will not let anyone harm me, it is you that I worry more about. Do not forget that I am a god so those fools could not harm me unless my father helped and he is not one to help this realm.” He chuckled softly as he spoke and saw the smile come to her face as his comments. “There see, I won’t let anyone harm either of us, and I’m sure the same can be said for you as well. Now, you should get some rest, not to be rude but you need some rest especially with how hard your training has been lately.”

 

She pouted to him playfully and gently took his hand as he went to stand up. She sighed softly and linked their fingers together looking up at him. She didn’t want him to leave now, she wanted him to say, at least now she could feel comfortable being close to him and she hoped she could at least now lay with him without fearing him. He smiled softly to her understanding what she was asking of him but still didn’t know if it would be right for him to lay with her when she wasn’t likely to be fully recovered. He ran a hand through her hair gently and chuckled softly. “If you want me to stay then I best get something to sleep in.” She let go of his hands gently and his slipped out of the room quickly.

 

When Loki came back he was dressed only in a pair of green pyjama bottoms that hung off his hips in a way that made (Y/N) blush brightly. She had gotten changed while he was out of the room, into a vest top and shorts, and was curled up by the headboard with a book. He slipped back in quietly and watched her for a moment seeing her reading peacefully before slipping into the bed with her making her jump; startling her out of the book. She pushed him hoping for him to fall off the bed and was slightly disappointed that she failed. The pair seemed to fall into a comfortable silence as (Y/N) tucked herself close to Loki while he pulled the covers over the pair of them. He sat comfortably and watched as she once again began drift off with his arm wrapped around her. He couldn’t help thinking how beautiful she always seemed to be without even trying. When he finally began to drift off he had tucked himself close to her and lay his head over hers resting peacefully throughout the whole night.

 

It was about five days later that Loki had to leave on his mission, the pair having spent every single moment they could together, but it was clear that the pair of them were anxious no matter how the team tried to calm them. Loki was to go with Thor, Tony and Clint on the mission after a Hydra activity had been discovered in the middle of Germany yet S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn’t figure out the exact location so they were sending the team to investigate the general area it was in. That morning (Y/N) had woke early to make sure she could say goodbye to Loki properly before he went. She’d begun to pick up a habit of rubbing her fingers against the bracelet when worried and it seemed as she stood in the middle of the heliport, in her favourite pyjamas, she was doing the same. Her instincts were telling her not to let him go but he was sure he would be fine. She held onto him as they went over the brief of the mission, which appeared to be just like any other, but something in her instincts told her not to let him go.

 

“Love, I will be back, I promise. You have the bracelet, it will tell you if I’m ever in trouble, I will be back to you (Y/N), I promise.” Loki cupped her cheek gently and smiled softly hoping to reassure her. “If anything happens you’ll know, but no one can get rid of me, love. Do not forget I am a god. Without these missions, I would not be allowed to stay with you.”

 

Hearing his words seemed to calm her worries some but her instincts still told her something wasn’t right. She managed to put it to the back of her mind wanting to focus on seeing him go. They both needed this, they both had to make sure he followed the rules set out by S.H.I.E.L.D. to be able to be together. He had to go on the missions, he had to make up for the chaos he caused otherwise he would be locked away or sent to Asgard for a worse fate. As the jet left she watched it take off feeling her heart clench with worry and fear. She had to break her thoughts and the only way she could was to train or at least work on some of her fitness. She changed into her training gear, headed to the training room and set up a few training dummies and a punching bag. Her mind was still racing, telling her something wasn’t right, and she watched the way the bag swung on the hook before finally getting into her training stance. Within moments she went from nothing to every move she had against the bag letting out all her anger and upset. She didn’t realise just how much had built up till she began to let it all out; even feeling tears come to her eyes from the frustration. She stopped and quickly wiped the tears away when she heard a voice from behind her.

 

“If you hit it any harder then you’re gonna bust it, trust me, you don’t want to do that.” Steve was stood leaning against the doorway having come down for his own early morning routine. “You okay, kid? I don’t think I’ve seen you like this before.” He pushed off the doorway and walked over to the punching bag to hold the back of it for her. She stayed quite as he walked over, trying to calm down, but the silence between them was beginning to weigh on her. He smiled softly to her hoping that she would open up to him if he stayed there for her to vent to. “If you wanna talk I would happily listen, or you could just keep bunching it out but, take it from me that doesn’t always help.” He stood beside her wrapping up his hands for his own training session only to see her sigh heavily and resign her silence.

 

“I’m worried about the mission the guys have gone on. I know you don’t like Loki, none of you guys really seem to, but I’m worried about what’s going to happen.” She looked down and frowned a little as she spoke knowing that Loki never got on well with the Avengers. “We don’t know anything about where they’ve gone, we don’t know what they’re up against, anything could happen to them.” Just hearing her say those words out loud seemed to bring the reality down on her hard and she felt her body begin to shake and tears come to her eyes again. Her mind began to race again with everything that could happen to boys on the mission but when she felt the pair of arms wrap around her she couldn’t help breaking down completely.

 

Steve just kept his arms wrapped around her as she cried against his chest letting her just release everything that had been built up. She held onto him shaking and slowly began to calm down; finally pulling back as her tears slowed and her heart rate calmed down. Steve let her go as she pulled back and smiled kindly to her hoping that she was starting to feel a little relief. “(Y/N), you know he’s a god, hell he’s with another god, they’ll be fine and J.A.R.V.I.S. will let us know if anything happens to them. Don’t worry yourself too much, you clearly see something in the guy that we don’t, you’ve clearly helped each other so you must know his strengths.” Steve lay a hand over her shoulder and smiled brightly when he saw the small smile come to her face. He was happy to see her smiling and was happy to help her train now she had a better mindset. Now she was in a better frame of mind he was much happier to help her in her work out and encouraged her to punch at the bag as he held it. Nat had come down when she couldn’t find (Y/N) and was pleased to see the captain working with her.

 

Although she was still worried, the worst of the fears had been soothed and she was happy to keep herself busy over the next few days especially when she didn’t feel the bracelet react to anything. She began to grow more confident each day as the bracelet didn’t vibrate and new from J.A.R.V.I.S. seemed to be positive until the fourth day when contact with the team seemed to falter and something triggered those instincts again telling her something was going wrong wherever they were. The bracelet hadn’t yet reacted to anything yet so she was sure that Loki was still safe but she was sure that losing contact with the team was just the start of whatever was going to happen. They had lost contact with Tony in the early morning, while most of them had been asleep and woken by J.A.R.I.S. informing them, and it was the late evening before the bracelet began to glow and vibrate. She had just started to drift off, clinging to a pillow, as the bracelet began to vibrate against her wrist.

 

She jumped up quickly feeling the movement and saw the bracelet glow as the magic connected to her mind. She suddenly felt her whole world spin changing to see Loki on his mission, she could see someone watching Loki and could sense that something was about to go wrong, and once the vision stopped she rushed to find Nat and Steve desperate to tell them what the bracelet had shown her. With the team losing contact with Tony and the bracelet triggering such a strong reaction both Nat and Steve thought it would be a good idea to go out and try to find the team. They could see the faint glow of the bracelet still lingering on it and when they touched it they had a bad feeling but they couldn’t see the visions that had come to (Y/N).

 

“(Y/N), you can’t go, you’re not ready to go on a mission.” Nat said as soon as she saw the way she looked at her. “We can get there, we can sort it out, but you’re not ready for something like this.”

 

“(Y/N), Loki’s a being from another word, he took a beating from Hulk and came off better than anyone else could. Nat and me will get them, we can go with a few more agents and get them back.” Steve said softly as he lay a hand over her shoulder.

 

“Guys, I got to go! Loki’s in trouble, I promised I’d help him if anything happened to him, that’s _why_ he gave me the bracelet! I’m going whether you want me to or not Nat, I’ll sneak on if I have to and you know I will.” 

 

After another while of arguing whether (Y/N) would go or not the pair decided that she would go on the condition that she stayed with Steve and didn’t try to go on her own. Once they all agreed they seemed to work overtime in getting themselves prepared for the fight out to the location Tony marked as the base in his last report; dropping in from above to take advantage of any surprise they could get. Through the whole flight (Y/N) couldn’t sit still as she worried about what may be happening or may happen to Loki. The bracelet still glowed lightly and she could feel it react as she got close to the building. This was to be her first real mission and she wasn’t about to let the god down when he needed her most.

 

Once they were above the ‘abandoned’ building Steve and (Y/N) dropped together first, (Y/N) strapped to Steve’s chest with a parachute on his back, while Nat and the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents they had managed to gather on the rescue mission. The placed looked like no one had been there for quite some time but when Steve and (Y/N) had gotten inside the building the bracelet lit up a green string that seemed to flow through one of the walls. There had been a hidden door but it seemed the bracelet could trigger whatever system opened it, or maybe not, as standing on the other side of the door were a fairly well beaten Tony and Clint carrying the wounded male. 

 

“Nat! Get Tony on the ship, looks like he needs help, Clint you help her out. Where’s Thor and Loki?” Steve got straight into leader mode and when he only got a resigned shrug from Clint he frowned. 

 

“Sensors are gone in the suit, the guys here have some jamming gear or something, I can’t find ‘em and Clint’s not seen ‘em. Wait what’s the kitten doing here?!” Tony had looked between the two of them and frowned before seeing the shining bracelet.

 

“She wouldn’t take no for an answer and she’s got something that can help us find them. Seems like she’s gonna be our best bet at finding the pair. Now go, get yourself seen to, we’ll go get ‘em. She’s not been training for nothing.”

 

Nat and Clint rushed a reluctant Tony out the building while Steve led the team into the building with (Y/N) right by his side. They were cautious, checking rooms as they went, listening for shouts of the Hydra agents and as they got in they heard the footsteps. Steve didn’t like how long it took for the enemy agents to come out but he knew (Y/N) wouldn’t leave without knowing Loki was safe. He had to keep her safe, he had to keep her close, and he regularly checked her to make sure she was close enough that he could pull her back if anything happened. Voices called out in the hallways shouting for men to hunt down the intruders and the pair slipped into a corridor that seemed to go on endlessly. Suddenly the bracelet’s glow seemed to brighten and (Y/N) seemed to get excited trying to encourage Steve down the tunnel as the light from it shone down the long corridor.  She rushed down the hall only to vanish when she got a few feet away seemingly where Steve couldn’t follow. He tried to go after her only for whatever portal she had gone through to vanish. 

 

She hadn’t even realised that she had left Steve’s side until she found herself in a strange room she’d not been in before. She looked around the room trying to figure out how she got there only to see Loki in a corner looking much more pale than normal. She rushed over to him but he seemed to be looking off in the distance as if in a world of his own. She tried to get his attention, tried to break him from whatever clung to his mind, but it didn’t seem to work. Eventually she resorted to shaking him to try and physically pull him out of the trance and it seemed to finally break him out of his thought only for worry to spread across his face. He seemed to question if she was there or not, his hands holding against her and even using his magic to see if she was an illusion, and when he realised she was there his expression quickly changed to worry.

 

“(Y/N), my dear, what are you doing here? How did you get here?!” His voice was shaky and he clung to her lightly. “You shouldn’t be here, it’s not safe for you here.” 

 

“It’s not safe for you either Loki! This charm of yours began shining and I could see something was going to happen to you. I promised you I would save you and Steve brought me here with some of the other agents, but I don’t even know how I got here. One minute I was in a corridor and next I was here, but I doubt I would have found you if not for the charm you gave me.” The bracelet on her wrist dimmed and finally stopped the vibrating and she gently took his hand checking over him.

 

“(Y/N) this isn’t the place for you, I don’t care if you came to save me, I gave you that charm to calm you. You are not ready for all this, it’s not safe for you here, you need to get out of here.” He stood shakily and his magic began to slowly wrap around her.

 

Suddenly there was a deep chuckle that seemed to echo through the room. Loki froze when he heard it and looked up clearly panicked by the laugh. He recognised the laugh, the deep voice, the tone, and he knew that the voice was keeping a promise they made.

 

“They told you if you failed you would pay, now you’ll wish that you had hidden yourself much better fallen prince, now you’ve even brought me a toy to play with.” The deep voice rumbled through the room making Loki pull (Y/N) behind him to protect her.


	8. Keeping a Promise

**_Author’s Note: This chapter contains mention of torture and abuse. If this would be a trigger PLEASE do not read this chapter!_ **

Loki froze as he listened to the voice echo around them and held onto (Y/N) tightly; trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. He concentrated on the strange room and watched as the building around them seemed to shimmer. The wall across from them rippled as if it were water and alien soldiers stalked through the portal holding tightly to their weapons as they aimed them at the pair crouched on the floor. The creatures chittered animalistically between each other in their own language and their long strides seemed to cover the room quickly; even in their crouched pose. Loki glared in frustration at the creatures before them knowing that the minimal magic he had was going to make it much more difficult to fight. He could fight without his magic, although he hated it, but whether he could fight well enough to protect (Y/N) was another problem entirely. He tried to keep her behind him as he saw more of the soldiers slip through the portal pinning the pair to the back wall. It was only now that Loki noticed the room had no visible door but was sure that he had entered the room through one. He watched as the creatures chattered in their strange language and mock lunged at the pair.

“You really thought those _Avengers_ would have protected you, fallen prince? You think that they would waste their time upon someone like you?” The deep voice rumbled through the room again making the creatures go quiet and watch the pair in front of them. “You failed to bring me the tesseract, failed to keep the weapon I gave you safe, you let it all fall into the hands of fools and wasted my kindness. You will pay for failing me, fallen prince, and this little companion of yours will be a great addition.”

The creatures around them moved in slowly and Loki could hear the snarling coming from behind him. She had sensed the danger around them, had let her instincts tell her what to do, and had shifted into her snow leopard form. Her instincts were telling her to defend Loki, to protect the threat that was coming after him, and, even though she didn’t have full control of her ability, she was willing to risk her life to protect him. She moved to stand in front of him and watched the creatures around them as they began to shift closer to them; her snarls only getting deeper and her teeth beginning to show.  As she stood to defend Loki, her 5-foot stance easily covering a crouched Loki, the creatures around them moved forwards to attack. She swiped at the creatures around them, taking out a few of them, and snarled at the being around them not willing to let Loki be taken from her.

Loki was shocked by the way she defended him, seeing that she was fighting as hard as she could, no one had truly fought to protect him. He had always had to watch his own back, relied on his own skills rather than anyone else, yet here she was fighting to protect him. He watched the way she moved, the way she kept herself between him and any danger, and how the creatures began to keep a little more distance between themselves and her. He was impressed with how well her training had gone, how much more control she had over the form, yet it seemed the creatures around them had the advantage no matter how hard she fought. He saw some of the creatures bring out strange lassos and as they got close he moved up to knock away the ropes before they could touch her. He felt shocks pulse through him as the ropes brushed against him but he managed to avoid the ropes catching him.

“We need to get out of here, love, but I can’t use my magic. He-he has my magic, limited as it is, blocked so I cannot get us out of here.” Loki tried to keep his voice calm but he knew she could sense his panic.

“Poor prince, has lost the only thing he was good for, unfortunately for you there is no way out of here without my permission.” Thanos’s voice rumbled above them and his dark chuckle seemed to make the room itself shake. “I will not lose you now I have you fallen prince, so do not think you can worm your way out of this, and this intriguing creature protecting you will be a fascinating addition. You have failed to protect her, have failed to defend her, and now not only will you suffer.”

He could feel the dark magic beginning to bleed into the room more, watched as the creatures around them got more antsy as the dark magic increased, and his eyes roamed around the room trying to find a weak spot in the building magic but it seemed like every point filled with black magic before he could do anything. He frowned as he saw some more of the walls ripple and the illusion of the room finally began to melt away. The room around them began to change from a crumbling building to a floating boulder in the middle of expansive space that was unrecognisable to (Y/N) but sent chills down Loki’s spine as hellish memories took over him for a moment. The moment of blindness, of being lost in his own thoughts, gave time for the creatures to get the strange magic rope around (Y/N) while creatures came to grab Loki. As he felt the creatures grab him, heard her yowls and snarls as the ropes clung to her, he finally broke from his scattered thoughts and struggled against their hold to try and get to her.

The strange magic on the ropes spread like cuffs over her legs and the one around her waist spread across her stomach seemed to stop her from being able to move. The tar-like substance spread from the strange roped and one around her neck spread over her head acting like a blindfold. She swung out at the creatures that were close by and managed to kill a few of them as they screeched and chittered close to her; giving away their locations. She felt the ropes pull against her and felt a magic seep within her head making Loki’s voice seem to fade as if they were being pulled apart or a wall was between them. She snarled angrily at the bindings as they forced her to go in a way that she didn’t want to but she couldn’t be sure where she was going or if fighting would help. The strange dark magic seemed to cling to her, keeping the ropes secured in place against her, seeping deeper into her mind and into the darkest parts she had hoped she could lock away. Thanos could only see flashes, could only see glimpses into the hell that had been her life before, and he knew he could use the dark memories to his advantage. He planned to strain the relationship, to punish the prince’s failure, and knew the best way to torment him to the point he could possibly use both in future. He threw the pair into their own cells, (Y/N) just within Loki’s sight but just out of reach, and a pair of guards stood at each cell making sure they didn’t use magic or signal the team on earth.

It had been a few days since the pair had been there and, so far, the pair were only disturbed when food and drink were brought; which unnerved Loki. He had been used to the titan toying and playing with his captives, tormenting them and finding every weakness he could till they broke, yet he was holding back; seemingly waiting for something. As time passed Loki had tried to break the magic wrapped around her mind but, no matter what he tried, he couldn’t find a way to pry her free of the magic; her senses still blind to him. Her sleep had seemed unsettled, muttering and crying softly in her sleep, but she was too far from him to hear what she was saying. He feared just what was playing in her mind and his fears only multiplied when he saw creatures heading to her cell carrying a large box and a strange potion; which one of the creatures drank before she could see them. He watched as the chest was placed outside the door and the form of the creature who drank the potion began to change. He watched as the monstrous creature’s form shifted to one much more familiar to the pair making chills run down Loki’s spine at whatever Thanos had planned. 

The creature had become an almost perfect duplicate of Loki, the only difference being purple crystals in its eyes, and he smirked at the real god as he passed by; Loki feeling furious about what Thanos could have planned. He saw (Y/N) perk up when she saw the illusion yet her expression changed completely when he caused chains to wrap around her and trap her against the wall. The disguised being inside her prison ignored her pleas of how she cared for him, how she needed him, how this wasn’t his fault, and it broke Loki’s heart to hear her pleas. Her instincts had told her it wasn’t truly him, that something was off about him, and that whatever was going on either wasn’t real or that Loki was being controlled. At first the creature did nothing to hurt her but used the knowledge Thanos had gained from her dreams to promise her the one thing she desperately wanted; to live a normal life. Loki felt frustration as he watched the creatures try to deceive her and felt pride when she just ignored the beings; although felt heart-broken seeing her try to help ‘him’.

Over the next few days the disguised creature would come into her cell, a first just tempting her with, but when the promises didn’t work torture became an option. The being started with simple torture methods, sensory deprivation, food deprivation, and when these didn’t work the torture became much more physical. Reduced food became slaps and punches, restraints were left longer humiliating her by being hand fed, causing her wrists and ankles to be rubbed raw, the sensory loss became cutting, deep cuts that would take weeks to heal and most likely scar, and through all this Loki could only watch on. She had no rest from the living hell as her sleep was haunted by nightmares which seemed to tear her mind. Memories from experiments, those who had forced the strange serum into her, the countless tests of her power, all of them were brought to the surface reminding her how monstrous she was.

 Loki hated only being able to watch on, seeing the joy the creature took in her pleas, in her cries of agony at the deep wounds, and tried to reach her with his magic. He could see her mind beginning to break, the weakness caused by the constant abuse, the reduced food, the mental abuse breaking the strength her loved in her. He couldn’t blame her, Thanos had a way of breaking the most powerful minds, but now he wished he had been the only one there; the promise of wishing for pain ringing true.

She had managed to last three weeks, three weeks of almost constant torture, but it seemed she’d lost all her fight. Her instincts had, at first, told her that the creature that came to visit her either wasn’t Loki or was Loki under some kind of spell but now her exhausted mind couldn’t seem to deny the false being before her. The black magic that had blocked her senses had allowed Thanos’ grasp to sink deep into her mind and finally had her trapped inside her own thoughts. He had used a magic like that from the sceptre Loki had once used but it could only work on a mind that was already more broken. He hated seeing the purple crystals slowly envelop the beautiful (E/C) eyes while still being unable to do anything about it. He had been trying to see if he could get a spell through the strange realm to Heimdall, almost sure the being couldn’t see where they were, and had managed to form a small portal that lead to Asgard; yet he wasn’t sure where. He was careful to only summon the portal when he was sure that no one would see him, working on making it big enough to allow a messenger through, and finally managed to send a messenger, in the form of a magpie, through with a tracing stone he had managed to hide away; one of a pair which Loki had the other.

In Asgard the bird took its course straight from the portal, about two days’ trek from the palace, to the Bifrost following the command of its master; taking a few minutes to get its bearings. The creature had Loki’s knowledge of the realm and as it flew it saw the Bifrost globe come into view. The creature flew constantly, not needing to rest the same due to the magic currently coursing through it, and swooped into the bridge chamber making the Gatekeeper inside jump a little as it landed on his shoulder. The creature called softly and dropped the stone into the guardian’s hand revealing the danger Loki was in through the spell that wrapped around Heimdall’s head. The green magic shimmered and Heimdall sent the small creature away before alerting Odin to the news that sent chills down his spine. He had known of the titan, of the chaos he could cause and the power that he held, and when the being had disappeared from his sight he feared the worst. It seemed to creature was coming back, and was the cause for what Loki had over a year ago, yet Odin was unsure of what to do. The titan was a great threat to his people and his realms and attacking the being wouldn’t be a suitable option yet there was a way they may be able to attack without threatening Asgard itself.  
  
He sent Hugin, with a small scroll and the stone, to Midgard making sure the bird knew to fly to Thor and inform him and his friends of the dangers. Odin feared that this could have been the start of a greater danger, and this concern only grew once he heard Heimdall shared his concerns, and started to set in motion a battle plan should the being have the confidence to enter his realm.


	9. Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE be warned this is not a happy chapter!
> 
> Thanos' hold on the reader grows and finally takes hold but, how can Loki and the Avengers find a way to break a magic not even Loki could get through?

(Y/N) felt truly broken as she sat in the prison certain that the man she loved had turned against her in some way to save himself. She hadn’t realised just how her emotional instability had opened her up to the titan’s abilities but Loki had been watching on furious that he couldn’t do anything about it. He had watched as she had been taken away from her isolation with the purple spell controlling her making the god fear what the titan had planned for her. He was aware of her ability, clearly knew what she meant to him, had endless powers that Loki couldn’t seem to slip past, and knew first-hand what this monster was capable of with just the flick of his wrist. He hoped his message had gotten out but he had to try again; this time reaching out for Midgard desperate to link with Thor.

 

Thor had already received a message, the location stone and an alert from his father through Hugin, but when an alarm rang through the Tower he knew something bad was happening. He rushed with the stone in hand towards the communal room where the team stood around a strange portal. Thor looked through the portal seeing his brother crouching in a corner and a magpie quickly flew to his shoulder. He knew that the magic laced in the creature allowed it to talk with them although he wasn’t sure how long the magic could last. The portal didn’t last long and as he reached toward his brother it closed with a final exchange of looks; Thor seeing the desperation in Loki’s eyes.

 

“Okay something is seriously going down if Loki is contacting us like that. He never asks for help never mind sending two messages in such a short time. Thor what the hell his going on?! Is this to do with him and (Y/N) vanishing?” Tony had been using everything he could to try and track the pair to no avail and it angered him.

 

“It seems things are more dangerous than we first believed. Father’s message appears to have been an attempt by Loki for help from Heimdall but it seems even the guardian cannot find the realm he and (Y/N) are being held in however, Loki has a plan. He will try to create another portal when he has the chance, getting them both here, so you will just have to scan for the same signal.” The magpie had been speaking to Thor as he spoke to the team with Thor seeing the magic weaken. “The creature which has them locked away is dangerous, it appears that even father has been concerned about this being, so he has warned us to be ready for an attack should something so wrong.”

 

Wisps of green began to drift off the bird sitting on Thor’s shoulder as the magic weakened and the message began to get quieter and quieter. This began to worry him as he knew Loki’s magic could often last days without the god there but something was making this magic weaker and more unstable. The team knew they needed to get the pair back but Thor hadn’t been ready to admit that (Y/N) was in more danger than his brother. The bird had informed Thor of what was happening to her, how the titan was manipulating her, how he had wormed his way into her mind and that his brother worried about just wat the titan might be doing to her. His first plan was to get her through the portal in case he couldn’t make it and make sure the team could house her.  He would tell the team later about what was happening to her, making sure that the team were able to prepare for their arrival and set up the scanners first, but he feared how much it would hurt them to know she was under the control of yet another enemy.

 

Loki sat in his cell for another three days, staring at the empty cell in front of him, before word finally came to him to face Thanos. He had tried to slip his magic through the barrier again in search of her life signs but his magic failed to pass through the barrier. He felt weakened, a lack of suitable food, no fresh air, no company, only enough food and water to keep himself alive. He had been through this before, knew that Thanos had something big planned for them both but he knew he wasn’t going to be at his best to face off against him. He followed the minion that came to collect him, just one, no cuffs, no restraints, clearly he wasn’t seen as a threat; yet another thing that angered the fallen prince. He could sense the change of power in the air as he got closer to the titan and finally was able to find the trail that lead to _her._ She was alive, she didn’t appear injured, yet he could sense the trail of Thanos’ magic within her life energy.

 

He was brought up to the throne area where the titan sat comfortably and at his side was the woman Loki had been fretting about for days in her big cat form. Her bright eyes were masked by the crystal-like glow and seeing his hand caress her head made him furious. She leaned her head into his hand as if she enjoyed his touch but he was sure if she was aware of what was going on around her she would run as far as away as possible. Thanos seemed to see straight through him as a broad smirk came to his face when the prince’s eyes fell on the cat beside him.

 

“Look at you, _prince_ , so desperate to make up for everything you had ever go wrong yet something always comes to haunt you. You think that you could ever escape me? That those fools who had fought against you could keep you hidden from me? You know of my powers, know exactly what I can do, just how _flexible_ my powers are and yet you believed I would leave you to whatever little adventures on that primitive planet. Thought I would let you fall in love with a mutated freak without using her against you? You really are a foolish _prince._ ”

 

The titan chuckled darkly as he continued to pet her happy to tease the trickster god. Loki ignored it, allowed his mind to focus on a solution to the puzzle that sat before him, using his magic to slowly creep along the ground to try and reach her. He knew that if he could just slip past the magic holding her he might be able to help her break free from it. A small trickle of magic crept across the ground, between the rocks, under the surface of the ground and up to her paws only for the dark purple spell to fight it back and forced it back with a jolt of pain shooting down his arm. The sharp shooting pain only made the titan smirk more as he slowly pulled his hand away from her head and watched him click his fingers making her slowly stalk towards the dark-haired man before her.

 

“Now that wasn’t a very good idea, you see there isn’t a way to break her loyalty so easily, and if you seem to be a threat she won’t stand by and just let you play the fool. Her mind has been _opened up,_ shall we say, to just how much trouble you have caused me.” The titan just watched as the feline prowled dangerously around the throne area. “Now all I have to do is give her a simple command and she will unleash all of her rage and skill against you no matter what she means to you.”

 

Loki was beginning to panic seeing he had no choice in fighting her should Thanos give her command. He knew his magic worked here but he wasn’t going to be strong enough to hold her back for long and hold a portal open to lure her through it at the same time; although he knew he had to try otherwise he was going to lose her. He took a deep breath as he readied himself for the fight ahead of him and built up his remaining energy and magic reserves when he heard the voice resonate around the strange realm. _Eliminate_ seemed to shatter the world around him as she lunged at him in full force, claws and fangs aimed directly at his throat, making him dive quickly to avoid the attack. He had to think fast, had to study this style of her fighting, a style much more erratic and blind than what he’d been used to seeing, and plan his every move to be two steps ahead as best possible.

 

She lunged, charged, swiped and prowled around the small fighting arena that had been created. She was so lost in her task at fighting him that she hadn’t noticed how close to the edge the pair had gotten and it allowed him to focus on a small space where the portal could appear. He created the portal behind himself when he watched her prepare to lunge and felt her claws and teeth in his shoulder as they were pushed through the small portal which only just fit them both through. He watched the smug look of the titan fade into the closing portal as he sat with his head on his fist. It seemed they had appeared in the middle of a park, people screaming and running away as they realised what was going on, and he felt her fangs dig deeply into his shoulder while her claws tore at his armour. He tried to hold her, tried to restrain her in a way that wouldn’t hurt her but she just kept trying to get to him.

 

Every time he managed to hold her she’d twist free and attack him in a different way. He finally managed to get her off him with a blast of magic and just managed to get onto his feet as the team arrived. He was beaten, already bruising, and bleeding heavily from multiple bites and scratches revealed by the tattered state his armour had become. When Thor saw how weakened his brother had become and how bad the injuries had become made him worry. Injuries had never seemed to bother Loki in the same way as others, he seemed more resilient to injuries than even the warriors three so seeing Loki holding his wounds, struggling the stand, seeing the worry in his eyes was all new to the thunder god. When he looked over to the threat he feared just how tormented the pair had been for the days they had been missing. The team surrounded the feral feline as she tried to lunge at Loki again; who was quickly pulled away and Thor took his place.

 

Thor felt the claws and teeth catch on the metal of his armour and he quickly managed to push her off him into the centre of the group. They had been warned she might be aggressive towards them and had managed to come up with a plan to use one of the new recruits to hold her. Wanda was the best at getting through such control, they had experienced it first hand as part of training, but for now they just needed to hold her somewhere until they could shut her somewhere safe for both her and the public. None of them knew just what had been put into her mind but with the way she was trying to fight them, as if they had harmed her, showed that she wasn’t in the same mind as when she left. She was blinded by the rage seeded within the magic in her mind and Loki couldn’t help the way his heart ached with weakness and heartbreak. He finally collapsed to the floor as he saw the red surround his love’s body forcing her to be still while the others called in for the transport cage.

 

She tried hard to fight through the magic clinging to her limbs her seemed to almost be rabid as her head was thrown side to side in her desperation. They had to act fast in getting her secure and finally managed to get the temporary prison around her and sealed tight while Thor rushed off with an unconscious Loki to the tower to get him help as soon as he could. The pair were taken to the safety of the tower, (Y/N) fighting against the prison closed around her through the whole journey, and both were rushed into separate areas. Loki needed immediate care while it was going to take a few tests and trials for Wanda, Tony and Bruce to figure out how deep the magic had gotten into her mind. The prison she was held in was connected to the lab but was secured by a double door system, scanners and camera’s preventing any blind spots in the see-through container, and had an intercom and feeding system by the door; allowing Wanda’s magic and food and water to reached the violent cat.

 

Loki had to be hooked up to an IV, which only just got through his skin, heart monitors and was under regular monitoring much like (Y/N). It took three days for Loki to wake from the coma he had been in to find his brother at his side and panic filling his heart. He could barely feel her life force masked by the dark magic which seemed to have grown since he was last awake. He had to know she was safe, had to know she was alive, had to know they were looking after her and used his magic to track where she was within the tower. As Thor walked in he saw his brother vanish in a shimmer of green before hearing JARVIS report that Loki had appeared in the lab surprising Tony and Bruce as he walked over seeing (Y/N) pacing with the purple completely covering her eyes. Slowly he walked over to the glass and watched the way she paused and lunged at him once again. For the first time in millennia Loki felt a tear come to his eye as he watched the woman he loved fall into an insanity he couldn’t break. He collapsed in front of the prison, staring at her in fear and hope that the team could do something, as his injuries which were still healing took their toll on his freshly woken body. He’d never wished for his insanity from that time to haunt anyone, it was a living nightmare, yet now the one person he would sacrifice himself for was slowly being submerged in a world he couldn’t follow without falling into himself.


	10. Price of a Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys so I do have commissions open should anyone be interested! I need some help right now as I don't have a job and don't know when I'll get one! Please feel free to message me any inquiries

It had been a week since they had managed to get hold of (Y/N) and over those days Wanda had been trying to break through the layers of magic that was pulling her into insanity. Loki had spent most of him time either being treated by Bruce or shutting himself away from the team which worried Thor. He knew his brother too well now, could read the signs he used to miss so long ago, and could see that he was starting to lose the positive influence (Y/N) had on him. Loki was emotional and that was dangerous given the situation they were in as they didn’t have the one person that always seemed to calm him down. Loki had been avoiding the team, avoiding facing anyone in his weakened state even (Y/N), and the only times he saw anyone was when Thor would bring food to his room to make sure he ate. Since he had seen her in that prison he had grown lost himself. He had tried to sit with her, tried to talk with her for the first two nights only for her to pace the prison and attack the glass, but the failed attempts only seemed to break him even more. Seeing her mind lost completely within the spell, and being unable to do anything about it for now, was the hardest thing Loki had ever had to face so he chose to put himself as far away from it as possible.

Even though it had been a week Loki was still recovering from his injuries and it seemed his magic had been drained during his time locked away in the titan’s prison. He could barely sleep, not that he slept well before, and spent evenings going back over everything and just wanting to find a way to stop it, to save her from coming to him, to keep her from the titan’s grasp just that little bit longer. Now he had to rely on a witch he barely knew, a new recruit who had proven she could get into people’s heads, but he didn’t trust her abilities or her skill to get through the titan’s spell. She had started working on her, had slowly begun to break through the layers of the spell, but the deeper into the lost mind she got the harder it became. Each wall took time to slowly break down, took hours just took slowly pull away each block only to expose another, and as she got deeper into her mind she began to hear a familiar voice. It was distant at first but by the tenth day of working through the magic the voice had become recognisable and it brought fury into Wanda’s heart.

 

_You think I’m with you because I care?_

_You think you deserve to be with a Prince? A God? You’re a fool!_

_You’re nothing more than a way to build trust with the Avengers._

_You’re a new toy and nothing more, the Titan can have his way with you if it means he leaves me in peace._

_You have always, and will always, be nothing more than a tool for those who are better than you._

 

Hearing these words, in Loki’s voice, brought anger and rage in the usually reserved woman and she wasn’t sure if they were the truth or if Loki’s words had been true. She hadn’t seen the titan, hadn’t been allowed out on such a dangerous mission in case she was lost to some spell or lost control. Those words were what was making it harder to break the next few walls. Self-doubt was something difficult to get through without help from the right people and she was going to make Loki hear these words whether they were from him or not. She hadn’t had the chance to see into his mind, had sensed he had made sure she wouldn’t without his express permission, so she hadn’t been sure just what had happened. The longer under the spell she was the weaker she was getting, she wasn’t eating and barely drinking thanks to the hold the spell had on her and the longer she was under the spell the longer it took to feed her. They managed to get nutrients into her through darts and as the spell was slowly broken she began to eat again but only in small amounts.

Without help Wanda was going to struggle breaking down the last few barriers in (Y/N)’s mind. Her magic and her voice just weren’t enough to make it through the spell and she needed the bond that her subconscious was still desperately clinging to. There were hints and pleas in her mind that this wasn’t Loki, that the voice inside her mind hadn’t come from him, the tiny shred of hope was all she had allowing her to cling to the last shred of humanity she had left and not losing herself completely to her animal instincts. She needed Loki’s help to get through the last few layers of the magic and she hoped that she still cared for the prince and the prince still cared for her.

Loki hadn’t expected to be called down, hadn’t expected the team to talk to him, but when the AI system called him down multiple times over the past few minutes he grew tired of it pestering him. It seemed he had no choice but to go down as he was called as they weren’t going to leave him alone in his room this time and it seemed a team meeting was being held. He felt uncomfortable, awkward, like he still didn’t belong there, but it was clear they had been waiting specially for him. Thor greeted him eagerly like always but there was a tension in his voice that made Loki question what they were planning. They hadn’t been this demanding since the pair had come back and it seemed that they were all looking to him for something. The witch was glaring at him coldly, if looks could kill it would surely harm the mischief maker, but he had no clue why as he’d avoided everyone equally and left them to their own activities. He had planned to wait and see if she would be able to break the spell before offering his advice on her magic but so far, the spell still held and he could feel that (Y/N) was growing weaker by the day.

“So what joyous news do you bring that forces my appearance here?” Loki was tired of everything he cared about being ripped from him but he couldn’t show that to the team. “Have we had a miracle and found our ferocious feline back within her own mind or has the witch failed us?”

“Brother, do not mock the sorceress’s skills, she has been working through the spell that has (Y/N) bound and has managed to break through layers of the spell…” Thor scolded his brother but was cut off by Wanda.

“I’ve been working to free her from the spell _you_ caused her. You’ve been wallowing in your own self-pity, avoiding everyone, leaving me to do the job you were too cowardly to do!” She snapped at him making him clench his fist slowly. “I have managed to get through most of the layers of magic, got to the deepest parts of her mind, and do you know what I heard? You want to know what’s got her locked in the spell? It’s you. Your voice is constantly knocking her down, constantly telling her she isn’t good enough, you insult her and make her feel like she is nothing. I doubt you have the skill to undo whoever has done this but you’re needed. It’s her bond to you that keeps her barely holding on.”

Loki could feel not only his anger building, but his regret too, he didn’t feel strong enough to help her. Even after centuries of research, of training and using magic to get whatever he wanted, he still didn’t feel he had the strength to break through the spell the titan had cast upon her. Hearing that his voice was making it harder and harder for the spell to be released ripped his already broken heart even further. He had reached an emotional breaking point, unable to hold back the anger and heartache that had been building for over a week, and finally he lost it; breaking down in front of the group.

“You think I’m not skilled enough? You haven’t faced the being that built the spell, you don’t know his power, you don’t know how dangerous it can be. I have been under that before, I know if I tried there was a risk that the spell would gain a hold of me. He has done this to ensure that I lose everything important to me, he knows my mind and has been inside before, so there was a very good chance that if I had tried anything it would backfire and I would lose her. I am no fool, I know the titan better than most of you, I know how dangerous he is, and I know that our magics have crossed before, making attempts to aid freeing her mind all the more risky.” He had stood quickly, knocking the chair he was sitting on back, and clenched his fists tightly. “I did what I thought was best for _everyone_ in the situation at hand! My actions are thought through _carefully_ , they have been to keep her _alive_ , I would give my life for her so do not dare call me a coward!”

Magic sparked and crackled around his hands as he growled at the small woman furiously. Her own magic fizzled at her hands as it acted on instinct to protect her but Thor was quick to step in-between the two knowing that right now this wasn’t what they needed. The rest of the team watched on a little unsure of whether they were willing to stop the pair if they fought due to the power the pair had.

“Then prove you would sacrifice yourself for her! You are her last chance right now, she needs you to help break down the final parts of the spell, and if you don’t help she will fall. I’ve been inside her head, I can feel just how long she has left, but I know you have the power. We will work together, I can help prevent the magic from gaining a hold on you, so we can free her but you _must_ show her that voice is wrong. I don’t know what happened to either of you but someone said those things to her and she _needs_ someone to make her think otherwise.”

Wanda was shaking with a mixture of anger and frustration as she spoke and could feel tears in her eyes as she spoke. Although she hadn’t had chance to meet her before the spell had taken she felt close to the woman. She had been spending all her free time trying to help her, spending hours with her, inside her mind, and she felt like she’d grown close to the woman. Now she had to get Loki through whatever doubts clearly circled in his mind and get him to focus on helping free her mind to bring the woman back to the team. She watched the way his words slowly seemed to sink into his mind and backed off letting him think. He had to choose to help her, he had to be willing to slip into her mind otherwise it would fail, if he didn’t truly want to help or had too much doubt about his power then his magic wouldn’t sink hard enough into the barriers.

“Brother, what happened to you both there? Where have you both been? You have been avoiding us all for weeks, will not even face the woman who loves you so, something has made you so distant and we both know that is not good.” Thor’s voice was filled with worry and concern at the doubt Loki had expressed. “It is clear that both of you have fallen for each other, you courted her carefully and knew her better than many of us on the team, yet when this happened you turned away and thought yourself weak? This isn’t you brother, you do not think yourself weak, something happened to you both to break you so.”

The team watched the hesitation in the dark-haired god and had been stunned. The Loki they knew never seemed to show such uncertainty and that had Nat and Clint concerned. The creature that had trapped them clearly was someone powerful if it meant Loki had been so unsettled and so changed. He’d been distant before, keeping to himself, but that had all changed thanks to (Y/N), and now it seemed he was losing all hope he’d built since she had joined the team and helped the fallen prince.

“The voice you heard, it was mine but was not from me, the titan used his magic to make one of his minions to look like me. They, he, that monster made sure I could see _everything_ they did to her. She was blind to me, bound behind magic I couldn’t break, I couldn’t do _anything_ to help her.” He was shaking and moved away from the team a little needing distance to talk. “He turned her against me, made her think she was nothing better than a monster, broke her while I could do _nothing_ to stop it!”

“Then do something now Loki, do something to bring her back and show her what you know, you have the ability to bring her back. Brother, she loves you, you clearly care for her deeper than anyone I’ve seen you with before.” Thor frowned softly clearly seeing there was some doubt in his heart. “You can at least try, work hard to bring her back, Wanda will keep you both safe. I know you doubt her skill due to her age, but she had managed to control us all at once. She has more strength in her than you believe but you must see it for yourself. Work with her and bring (Y/N) back to us.”

Thor had walked over to his brother, laying a hand on his shoulder, and waved a hand towards Wanda. He took a moment seeing the way they were all looking at him and the shock in the small witch’s eyes at the emotional outbursts. He took a moment to think, to concentrate on what they were asking of him, to think of everything he was going to lose if he didn’t try to get through to her, and finally knew his decision had been made the moment the witch stood up to him. He hoped her powers were as strong as the team and his brother believed because he wasn’t sure how much he could take of seeing her break again. He waved the witch over to him, wanting to get started before he changed his mind, and she was relieved she’d managed to get him to help and hoped that together they could free (Y/N) from the spell. She knew it was going to be a lot of hard work to get through the last few layers but she had to keep an eye on the fallen prince to make sure the spell didn’t bounce back onto him.

Loki was getting more and more anxious as he headed towards the lab having not faced (Y/N) since the fight and not knowing what state she was in. He watched Wanda walk over to the front of the prison, where the small opening allowed their magic through, and heard the snarl from the creature inside. He walked over slowly and looked through the glass seeing the feline eyes shift from Wanda to him. In an instant the creature dropped low and bared its fangs at him as if preparing to lunge at the glass. Wanda was quick to act, using her magic to hold the creature down, and looked over to the fallen prince seeing his shock and concern. She seemed so wild, so broken, so lost, and seeing the cruel look in her eyes made him take a step back from the prison; his doubt slowly starting to build again.

“Loki, she needs your help, if you don’t she will be lost to the spell and you’ll lose her.” Wanda scolded the man sharply as she used her magic to calm (Y/N) down. “I need you here prince, your doubt isn’t going to help her or free her.”

Wanda had sat down allowing her to focus on just her magic and Loki came to sit down next to her. He watched as her magic slowly seemed to spread over the woman’s eyes, the purple glistening just under the red, and it only now that Loki could see the purple had lost most of its glow. He took a moment to focus on the feline before he allowed his magic to flow from his fingers and over her body as he felt the connection between them grow. He slipped into her mind slowly, allowing the path Wanda had made to keep him hidden before he heard the voice whispering around the room. He saw the wall formed in her mind, a barrier after countless layers had broken down leaving only scattered remains behind, and the voice suddenly seemed to grow louder chastising not only the woman but the fallen prince himself.

 

_You’re a monster, a beast, no better than a tool._

_It seems old tricks are hard to get rid of, being so obedient when called to heel, what a waste._

_You think your primitive mind is equal to my own? What a waste of energy._

There was so much more but Loki had shut it all out to focus on showing her his real thoughts. He knew if he heard any more of those thoughts that he would lose his mind in the dark spell and begin to believe whatever was being said. He took a moment to concentrate on what he could do, how he could prove to her that the words being said to her weren’t his own, and thought of everything he had ever told her; something that the magic wouldn’t be able tell her. He could feel his heart beginning to shatter as he rooted through her mind to try and weaken the wall before him; the semi-see-through glass glowing soft purple. He paused a moment in thought realising there was one trick he’d mentioned to her but hadn’t had the chance to show her until now. He took a deep breath and allowed his form to change into the female version of himself gaining her attention.

Loki called out softly, making sure her voice echoed gently, enough to carry but be different from the constant torment. Her voice was filled with worry, filled with hope, filled with comfort and when his comments began to drown out the insults he could feel the magic wall being split and cracked. She allowed her magic to flow further into the expansive wall, finding any weaknesses that Wanda’s crimson magic had revealed, and began to pull away slowly. She knew that if she pulled the magic away too hard, too fast, it could shatter the fragile remnants of (Y/N)’s mind before they could take over again, and slowly the final few walls were taken down. It had taken hours to get Loki’s words above the torment and insults, to finally break the repetition that had her locked in the titan’s spells, but finally it seemed the last few layers of the spell in her mind had been taken down. He saw her, the (Y/N) he knew and loved, for a fraction of a second before he had to pull his magic out and allow her mind to rebuild.

He returned to his male form, his true body, feeling the use of his magic weakening his body. He hoped that they had managed to get rid of every trace of the magic in her mind but he was going to let her rest and build her strength before he made sure she was herself again. He looked to Wanda, also weakened from the heavy use of magic, and felt his judgement on her had been horrendously misguided.


	11. Rebuilding and Revelations

(Y/N) woke feeling confused and scared thinking she was still trapped in the strange realm she still didn’t understand. She slowly looked round seeing a different room, somewhere that smelled familiar but didn’t look it, and realised she was naked which only happened when she shifted. She didn’t know what had happened with her mind losing everything between that prison cell and this one and as her panic began to build she found a scent that made her frown with a confusing mixture of emotions. Loki had stepped into view of the glass cell and she smiled brightly but something deep in her gut made her nervous and anxious of the powerful being which had never happened to her before. Her instincts had always been so close, she had never felt dread or fear when she was with Loki, so she couldn’t understand why she had suddenly felt so.

Loki seemed to sense her conflicting emotions and paused just at the doorway of the prison. He wasn’t certain if everything had worked, if she would be mentally sound as possible with everything that had happened, but when she smiled softly to him, with a bright blush on her cheeks, he knew the woman he loved was free of the dark magic. He allowed his magic to slip through the door and it formed some comfortable clothes over her body helping her relax with the pair of them. He knew Wanda would have to check, would have to make sure each wall and trace of the magic had been pulled away and destroyed but it seemed like all their hard work had paid off. Wanda took a moment to connect with the woman before her and (Y/N) felt the intrusion in her mind making her worry just what the stranger was looking for. She felt the magic deep within her mind but it didn’t feel cruel or invasive it just felt strange and soon was pulled out of her. She watched the exchange between the strange brunette and Loki not knowing what was going on between them. She nodded to him and within moments the door to the prison opened and he stood with open arms for her. He hoped she would come to him but he didn’t want to rush it knowing how sensitive she could be.

It took a matter of seconds for her to be out of the prison and in his arms but her gut kept telling her something wasn’t right. Something in her mind told her that something had happened but her instincts told her she could always count on him. It was so confusing and something that confused her more was memories of a female Loki within her mind which she was sure she hadn’t seen before. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and held him close as he rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head softly just happy to be able to hold her again after such a long time. It must have been weeks the pair were in the prison then the time they had taken to break the spell on her. It felt like forever, like he’d spent much longer away from her than it had been, so to have her close again felt so good. He mouthed a thank you to Wanda before he pulled back to look (Y/N) in the face.

“You have no idea how good that felt, how great it feels just to be able to hold you again, it’s thank to Wanda here that I can have you back like this. I had doubted her skills as I hadn’t seen them but it appeared I had nothing to worry about. What do you remember, if you remember anything?” He worried about her, worried what memories of her time clung to her, hoping whatever had worried her would be easy to calm.

“I don’t know, I remember being in the factory, hearing that voice and being in their weird realm but after that it’s all blank. What happened? Why don’t I remember anything?!” Her voice was filled with confusion and worry before he held her hand and rubbed his thumb against it.

“You were under a spell, the cruel Titan who had controlled me has done the same to you, he swore that he would make me wish for pain and he was right. We can talk about it but not here. I want to know you feel safe before we talk, he had corrupted your thoughts and made you believe things I am sure you wouldn’t have without his actions.” He didn’t want to confess too much and trigger something; knowing from experience how horrible that felt. “For now, let us get you somewhere more comfortable and maybe get some food for you.”

He wanted to just keep holing her so much but he could tell that there was a lot going through her mind and worried that too much at once would only scare her more. He first took her to the kitchen and gave her some hot stew before he took her to her room to help her relax. She seemed to feel better just being in somewhere familiar to her and she took a seat on her bed relaxing down on it with a heavy sigh. For a moment, he held back still doubting that the spells that had been used managed to remove all her fears but when she invited him to sit on the bed next to her he felt some relief wash over him. He sat close to her rubbed a hand through her hair as she smiled up to him softly before he felt her hand lay on his leg.

“What happened to us Loki? What happened in that weird place?” Her voice sounded more confused and worried but Loki didn’t want to make her fear him or hate him again. “I don’t remember what happened but I remember being angry with you, I remember fearing and hating you Loki, I’ve _never_ felt like that even when you mocked and tried to torment me when we first met. Just what did he do to us?”

“He made sure to split us, to make it so you couldn’t see the real me while I saw everything he did to you, and I couldn’t do anything to stop him.” He had taken his hand out of her hair and had them both in his lap clenched into tight fists. “He made me sit back and watch as he used an illusion on you to make you think one of his pathetic little minions was me torturing you and ‘saving my own skin’. I was screaming for you, trying so hard to reach you with my magic, and you fought so hard. You trusted your heart and for so long fought against his magic but he broke you, like he does with everyone, and he finally had hold of you. If Wanda hadn’t been in the team when I got you here I don’t know what I could have done. The titan had used his magic on me before and it meant that I was more susceptible to it than her and I couldn’t break you from the spell on my own. That young witch, the woman I was with when you woke, worked hard to break so many layers of the spell alone I couldn’t even face you because I was too scared it would be the last time I see you.”

Loki was shaking, his mind reliving the hell he had been going through watching him abuse her, and he couldn’t even look at her. He didn’t feel strong enough for her, was still doubting himself, and couldn’t understand how he had deserved her attention when he had done so much to screw everything up. He fought back the tears that burned in the back of his eyes but he couldn’t hold them back any longer when her hand lay over his fists. Her touch was gentle but firm and it was just what he needed when he was feeling so weak and lost. She sat up slowly and waited for his eyes to meet her own before she finally spoke to him knowing he just needed a moment to stop, to breathe, to know she wasn’t going anywhere. As he spoke fragments were there, feelings more than memories, but she could see just how everything had torn him up and made him question everything.

“I’m here, you got me out, it was you in my head. I remember hearing you but you were different. You were a woman in my head, something I know I wouldn’t make up, and it helped. I’m sure you would have worked something out Loki, you’re smart, and you know it, so don’t knock yourself because of this. We’re Avengers and we get into situations no normal human should face but we run into them full force.” She smiled softly to him and cupped his face softly. “You’ve always made me an exception to your rules Loki, this is one time you have to make an exception for yourself, and you don’t have to be able to save me constantly. You might think yourself a god but you can’t always get everything your way. Even gods have their flaws Loki and he just knew them too well. If you think it’s your fault I got hurt then it’s my fault you were captured. I went there to help you and I failed to help get you out of there.”

“Now, you know I cannot agree on that. I hadn’t thought you would rush in if I were at risk, I thought you were to have more training first, and I did not think the titan would act so soon.” Loki frowned deeply and took hold of her hand trying to soothe her. “It seems neither of us will accept that the other is at fault, we seem not to wish blame, but this is _my_ fault love. I submitted to the titan and his minions are only keeping a promise they made to me.”

“Now we need to make sure they can’t do any more to you. I failed to protect you once, I’m not letting that happen again, and now we have the team to help us fight. They know of that monster’s actions and we can work together to help protect both of us.” She smiled softly to him knowing now that they didn’t have to fight alone like Loki used to. “For now, though, I think we both just need some time to us. Until my memories come back, I doubt I can be much help because he could use what he knows against me.”

She felt a hand against her back as Loki pulled her close and just held her. There was a lot they were going to have to go through again, things Loki knew he would hate to put her through again, and he even feared what the results would be. He wondered if she would hate him again, if she would blame him for what happened again, but he hoped beyond everything he could prove to her that he had done everything he could. Both finally had the other and they weren’t about to let each other go all that easily even though the risk to both seemed to increase. 

Over the next few weeks it seemed to be almost as if someone had rewound a film and replayed it again. They both struggled to sleep deeply, both needed each other to help calm them when their panicking became out of control, and they began to turn to Wanda together for help. The young witch had helped save (Y/N), had grown closer to Loki, and slowly had become a regular companion when they spent time together. The panic attacks from both had been getting worse as they began to face everything that had happened to the pair of them but Wanda had been there to help. At first (Y/N) had been a little distrusting, a little uncertain, of the younger woman as she hadn’t had the time Loki had to see her work and just remembered the feeling of intrusion that filled her mind. She feared that the witch was going to take him away from her and had kept her guard up around her but it seemed that all her worry was for nothing. Loki always made sure they spent time as just the two of them but now she had the chance to grow much closer to someone who understood her more. She knew the team would never understand fully what she had been through, what she had been dealing with, but both Loki and Wanda had seen it in her mind and almost had a first-hand experience of it because of what they saw.

Wanda had changed from a rival and worry for the shape-shifter, into a confidant for her worries and troubles when they got too much or she felt she couldn’t speak to Loki about them. Knowing her mind had been under the control of the titan had scared her, had made her fear just what might happen if he came close again, and now she realised just how much danger Loki was in because of his past and what he had been trying to work for.


	12. Dark Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay guys! Hope you guys enjoy it as I have another commission to work on! Hopefully this one won't take as long

The trio had been growing closer and closer as they worked together and trusted her with their darkest dreams. Nightmares still plagued both (Y/N) and Loki, horrible visions that could keep them up for nights at a time, and it seemed to have brought back old fears in the shifter. Loki had noticed she would tense in his touch, that she seemed to be fearful, anxious, nervous, when people grew close to her and appear to avoid being touched as much as possible. He hated seeing the fear that seemed to fill her eyes whenever he came close, whenever anyone came close, and it was frustrating to see his hard work was spoiled. All his energy that had gone into helping her, all his love and adoration and affection, it had all been damaged because she had tried to help him. She had grown frustrated and irritated at the missing memories in her head, at the sensitivity she had with everything around her, at everything that just seemed to be building out of control around her and Wanda had seemed to notice her agitations and fears.

She had seemingly taken the role of their support, of their aid, of their therapist. She was the only one they trusted enough to let into their minds, was the only one who seemed to truly understand everything they had gone through, and she was the only one that either of them would open up to fully. Neither felt they could cope, but they didn’t want to burden the other with their problems meaning they turned to her when they were in need. Loki had feared he would never be able to touch her again because of her fear of him, (Y/N) was frustrated and upset at the lack of memories and how they had affected her, and the young witch had done her best to work with the pair to soothe their fears.

(Y/N) had gone to her many times, had sought her out to try and find what was blocking the memories from coming to the surface, but each time she seemed to fail to bring them to the surface. Wanda would spend hours sitting with (Y/N), talking with her, trying to figure out what she could do to help, and it seemed that only in her sleep could she pull the visions forward. In her sleep, (Y/N) saw the room, remembered the heartbreak, had visions of what had been going on around her, but when she woke the visions would fade and she could barely recall them when she wanted. She would try to write down what she could remember but it began to be the same things that she dreamt of, just a small collection she could recall but there were still large gaps, gaps that nothing seemed to fill no matter what she did.

Loki hated watching the way that these horrendous nightmares tortured her when there was nothing he could do to help. He tried to help her, tried to support her, tried to care for her as best he could without being too much for her. He noticed how tired she was growing, the dark circles under her eyes, the terrified look in her eyes when she would wake from the minimal sleep she would get. She seemed to be lost in the nightmare for those first few moments of being awake, her panicked eyes darting all over the room, her vision locked within the panic and fear, and she was sensitive to everything around her making her fearful of everything that was going on around her; even if it was just part of the visions. He knew that there wouldn’t be anything he could do himself to help her, the magic that had caused these nightmares was something too strong for his own magic, so he thought to ask the young witch for help to block the memories to stop them from tormenting her. They couldn’t do anything to help her get over the nightmares, so he hoped they could block the visions to stop them from invading her mind.

Wanda knew that blocking the visions, or searching through her mind to try to remove them, could cause more harm possibly blocking or removing other important memories. Although she could control what a mind saw, what they experienced, what they remembered, she found it harder to remove memories or prevent memories from harming the person. She knew memories could be sensitive, could be easily damaged and broken, and breaking some memories could severely affect the personality and person whose memories were being manipulated. Minds were complex and something that could go wrong easily so she only agreed to help if she could explore her mind first to find where the danger could lie. She hadn’t been too deep into (Y/N)’s mind when she helped, only looking into the surface levels of her mind where the magic clung to her, but now she was being asked to delve deeper. Going in so deep was something she was unsure of, but she wouldn’t pull at anything, wouldn’t touch anything, she just planned to explore this first time and if there was anything she could do then she would try it. Loki was to be out of the room, in case something was pulled up (Y/N) didn’t want Loki to know, they were to take it slow and only when (Y/N) felt ready for the invasive search. It was arranged to happen in a couple of days to allow everyone to think it through, to think of the dangers, to understand what could happen if they went through with taking away the memories.

(Y/N) still felt like their only option was to allow Wanda into her mind fully, to let the young witch explore every corner of her head, to see if there was anything she could do to extract the terrifying visions. She sat in her bedroom, Loki sent out like they promised, and when she felt the magic wrap around her mind it felt strangely familiar. Some memories were there, of the magic invading her mind when she was trapped in her feline form, and feeling that magic now flow through her head felt strange as it filled every corner. Wanda felt the pull of her magic within (Y/N)’s head, felt it fight into a corner of her mind, sensed a power still locked within her mind, a trace of that power that had affected her before, and Wanda felt a chill run down her spine when she realised just where that magic had come from.

She connected to the magic, trying to get a feel for it, and as she tugged on it she felt it pull back and felt a powerful gaze on her. She felt the power behind the spell, felt the control the caster had and the lingering connection. Although she never met the caster of the spells, she knew who it was that implanted the magic there as it was from the same source that had controlled and tormented her mind before. She could feel the power from the titan, could feel the connection to him, and couldn’t help the chill that ran down her spine at the realisation of who this being was. She pulled away from the small connection slowly wanting to make sure she didn’t pull on it too hard and cause a reaction and took a moment to get (Y/N) to focus back on her again as Wanda’s own thoughts were a little sporadic and scattered.

“I believe I know what is keeping these blocks, what is causing all these nightmares, and it is not a good thing. It appears that the titan, the being that kept you and Loki captive, still has some of his magic rooted deep within your mind. He seems to have some access to your mind, has some way into your mind, but I do not think he can control you like he could before.” Wanda knew she couldn’t keep it from her and just hoped they could find a way to solve it. “It may just be lingering magic, but I believe that is what’s causing your issues.”

When (Y/N) heard the news, she felt fear sit deep in her gut as if her instincts told her to flee. She felt dread filling her at the thought of such a powerful being having some connection to her and all she could think was that she was putting Loki in danger. She told Wanda she was going to need some time to think about what they found, asked her not to tell Loki or the others just yet, and thanked her for helping before she hugged her and asked her to leave. Once Wanda was out of the room reality seemed to sink in and she just stared at the view out of the window realising the danger she had put Loki in. Over the next few hours, she wracked her brain trying to figure out what to do, how to solve the lingering magic, thought through every option she believed there was in her mind but each time she feared that toying with the magic would bring the titan to them and put Loki back in danger. She was scared, anxious and thought of ideas too quickly without lingering on the plan and finding ways to make it work. Her mind was so scattered that the only plan she thought made sense was to run, was to get as far away from him as possible, to keep him safe and prevent the titan from being able to get to him. She knew it would hurt him, knew he would likely never forgive her for it, but it appeared to be the best idea to her. 

She found a bag, gathered some clothes together, began to pack it all together but felt her heart ache at the thought of leaving him. It seemed that just as she had finished packing, just as she had put in the things that meant the most to her, the person that meant the most to her seemed to burst into the room in a fit of panic. He paused in the doorway looking over the room and looked between (Y/N) and the bag she had packed which brought a confused frown to his face. He walked slowly towards her, moving slowly in fear that he was going to make her panic more, before he got close and took hold of her hand.

“Love, what are you doing? Where are you planning on going? Were you…were you going to leave without me?” His voice was filled with fear and concern at losing her. “I had wondered what the young witch had found within your mind, she seemed to be disturbed by it, seemed to have some dark thought in her head, and it worried me, but I was told to leave you in peace to think of what you found. I…I am glad that I could not take staying away from you any longer as I fear how far you may have gotten.”

She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t face him, not with what she planned, and the gentle, repetitive rhythm of his thumb against the back of her hand wasn’t necessarily helping her. She had thought she could leave, she could go without him, that he could be okay without her but the look he gave her made her heart sink. He had sat down on the bed, looking up at her as he held her hand gently, and encouraged her to sit beside him. She was unsure, worried he was angry about what she was planning, and he waited patiently for her to talk about the plans she had been making without him. She stared down at the floor as she sat next to the prince, but his gaze focused on her held and she could barely hold his gaze when she would peek over to him. 

“I can’t stay here Loki, you’re in danger if I stay, he still has some link to me. He can still find you through me and I just can’t bear to lose you like that. I couldn’t handle it if I were the one to bring him here, to have him grab you again because he found you through me. Who knows if he’s already coming? Who knows what he’s going to do to you? I just…I can’t.” Tear filled her eyes as she spoke, the weight of it laying heavy on her chest, and her hands were shaking at the thought. “He’s still in here Loki, that monster is still here, you wouldn’t be safe with me around, not if he’s in my head!”

“(Y/N), stop, it wouldn’t be your fault if something happened to me. I made a deal with Thanos long before I met you, before I even knew you existed, so ultimately it would be my own fault if something happened. I would never blame you and I would be angry if my actions led you to blaming yourself.” He had gently cupped her face and encouraged her to look at him as he spoke. “If he could do anything do you not think he would have done so by now? He has not acted on whatever he could do so why would you think he could do anything? You’ve sat here alone, letting your thoughts get the best of you, when you could have sat with me and we could have discussed what to do.”

“I just couldn’t handle the thought of hurting you, of leading to someone hurting you, of losing you.” She finally managed to hold his gaze and let the tears roll down her face. “I can’t lose you, not again, you mean too much to me.”

After weeks of being unsure of touch, of being anxious with anyone too close, her heartbreak had finally broken through and she wrapped her arms around him tightly to hold him close. She buried her head in his shoulder and cried into it as she thought of what could happen. He wrapped his own arms around her, supporting her, keeping her close, and rubbed her back in soothing circles to try to calm her down. He kissed her hair, her cheek, ran his hand through her hair, did all he could think of to calm her down and support her.

“Fear not, I am no weak mortal who can be so easily taken. I will not die so long as I have someone to fight for. We will find some way to solve this, I swear.”


End file.
